Don't Dwell in the Past
by Frolicking Bananas
Summary: [Complete]After an incident between her and Rob, Jess moved away to NYC, where she's spent the past 5 years living. What will she do when a psycho rapist wants vengeance? Most of all, what will she do when Rob comes waltzing back into her life? RJ
1. Bar Fiasco

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

"Jess, are you feeling ok?" My friend Steph asked me. We were sitting in a bar with our other friend Kara.. I've been feeling a little lightheaded lately. I really don't know why. Maybe it's the stupid psychic thing.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," I said. She gave me a skeptical look to which I replied, "thanks for your concern."

"Jess, Kara and I have been really worried about you lately. You've been really out of it a lot. Are you sure nothing's going on that you haven't told us?"

I nodded, but she wasn't falling for it.

"Steph, Kara, guys I'm fine. I think I'm getting a cold or something." I said. I knew I wasn't sick. The stupid psychic power can be a little overwhelming at times and even causes me migraines sometimes too.

"Okay, but if you are in any trouble or just need someone, please don't hesitate to call one of us," Kara said. I really love these guys but when they want to know something, they usually don't stop until they get the information. That's probably why they both work for the FBI. Then they can get all the inside scoops on everything. Yeah, they are FBI agents, and so am I. I know what you're thinking. Why did she join the damn FBI? Krantz can be a nice guy when he wants to be. And the salary is very appealing. I have to support my kids you know, being a single mom and all. Yeah, and it can be fun at times, because we get to travel a lot. I've been practically all over the globe. Its really interesting seeing and going to different places.

"Okay, okay, I know," was my reply.

"Well, okay then." Steph said.

Then Kara had to ask the inevitable question. "You have a date tomorrow night?"

Me, have a date? Yeah, that'd be the day. "Nah."

"Jess, come on, come with us to the club tomorrow night. It'll be so much fun." Yeah, fun. Like I even know what that means anymore. I stopped having fun five years ago.

"Sorry, I'm busy. And besides, do you know how hard it is to get a babysitter on a Friday night in New York City?" Yeah, I live in NYC now. I moved five years ago, thanks to a certain someone.

"Jess, we know when you're lying. I can get my mom to babysit. You know how much she loves Autumn and Aaron." Autumn and Aaron are my kids. Yeah, I have kids. They are four year old twins and absolutely adorable.

One of the waitresses came over and placed a delicious looking strawberry daiquiri on the table . I looked at her. "What the hell is this for?"

She looked a little taken aback by my question but then pointed to a guy across the bar. He looked back at me and winked. I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Not again."

"Oh, come on Jess. Get up and have a little fun. Go talk to the guy." Kara urged.

"No, all the guys who try and hit on me are total assholes, okay? I don't feel like talking to him."

"Uh, okay, sorry." Kara said.

"Kara," I said, "I'm sorry, I just don't feel well right now." I said. I got up and walked over to the guy. I slipped a ten in his drink and sat back down.

"What the hell?" That was Steph.

"I don't want the guy thinking he can buy me a drink. I make enough to by my own damn drink." I replied. And plus, I don't feel like getting drunk tonight. Last time I got drunk at a bar, I ended up in some guy's apartment, with nothing but my bra and underwear on. But I threw my clothes on and ran out the door, looking like shit. I know that we didn't do anything because I would have been aching and sore and I would have been completely naked. There is only one man that I had sex with and it turns out he was a complete dickhead too.

"Ma'am, what's this for? I bought you the drink." Said a voice from behind me.

"Yeah, I know. But I didn't want you to have to pay for it. And don't think you can hit on me, I've got a boyfriend okay?" I said.

The guy had surprise written all over his face. Defeated, he walked back to where he was sitting.

"He was cute, why did ya shut him down like that?" Steph asked.

"Because I can't be in a relationship. I'm not gonna hook up with a guy in a bar." I stated.

They both shut up for a little while.

Then when I got up to leave, they asked, "So, you coming tomorrow night with us?"

I groaned. This was getting really annoying.

"Jess, just come. You'll have tons of fun. We'll make sure you do."

"FINE!" I yelled. I think I startled them a bit.

"Okay, then we'll pick you up at eight tomorrow night. You can drop Autumn and Aaron off at my mom's anytime. She'll be home all day tomorrow." Steph announced. _Great, I guess I'm going clubbing._

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_** The 1-800-where-r-you characters belong to Meg Cabot, not me. 


	2. I remember when I was 16

**__**

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I got to my apartment building. I got out of my silver jaguar (yes, I have a jaguar) and locked the doors. I walked up the four flights of stairs and then to number 426. I unlocked the door with my key and walked in.

"I'm home!" I called out. No one answered in reply. I began to panic. "Hello?"

Then I heard music playing from one of the bedrooms down the hall. I walked down the hall and looked in the bedroom. The babysitter and Autumn and Aaron were dancing to some music. I think it was Bowling for Soup. Yeah, it was. It was one of their songs called Almost. I like that song.

"Chandler?" I asked. She turned around and then turned crimson.

She immediately turned the music down. "Sorry," she said. Autumn and Aaron were jumping on the bed still singing to the song.

"No, its okay. I was just worried when no one answered," I said. I turned around to go change into some pajamas.

I just threw on some velour shorts and a baggy t-shirt. I walked back in the room where the kids were still listening and dancing to the music. Chandler was a real sweetheart. She was sixteen and was really good with my kids. I gave her fifty dollars. She only babysat three hours, but she was a sixteen year old girl who probably enjoyed shopping. So I gave her some extra money. Besides, its not like I really need all that anyway.

"Thanks, Jess," she said.

I smiled. "Hey Chan, you think you could babysit tomorrow night too?" I asked her.

She turned around and said, "I was supposed to hang out with my boyfriend, but I guess I could cancel," she said.

I shook my head. "Hey, you can invite your boyfriend over here. Just if your gonna make out or something, make sure the kids are in bed or out of the room. Okay?"

She turned red again and nodded, "Oh, thanks Jess!" she said, "you're the best!"

"Thanks, you need a ride home?"

She shook her head, "No, my boyfriend's picking me up. He'll be here in a bit."

She started for the door, but I stopped her. "Can't he come up and get you? Its late and I don't want you out there at this time, okay Chan?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine."

"Chan, I remember when I was teenager. I had a boyfriend too," I said, but then I stopped.

Chan looked curious, "Really? What was he like?"

"Um, well, he was really hot. Here, I'll show you a picture of him," I said, going toward my secret box. It had a bunch of junk in it, including pictures of _him_ and all of the children I had found.

I rummaged through the box and found a photo of Rob and me with a bunch of his friends at Chick's.

"That's him?" she asked in utter disbelief, "he's _hot!_"

"Yeah," I said, "but he did something horrible."

"He got you pregnant?" She asked, truly intrigued.

"Um, yeah, but that wasn't what was horrible. That I could deal with, but what he did was just plain wrong." I said before I thought about it. _Oops, shouldn't have said that._

"Really? What did he do?" she asked.

"Uh," I said but then the doorbell rang.

"Oh, that's my boyfriend. You wanna meet him?"

"Uh, sure. Listen, about the things I just told you. I've never told anyone those before. Please don't tell anyone."

"Sure, my lips are sealed," she said, doing the little 'zipper' gesture.

"Thanks," I said going to get the door.

I opened the door to reveal a tall, blond haired, blue eyed boy. He looked about seventeen or so. "Hey," I said.

"Hi," he said, looking past me and at Chandler, "you comin?"

"Yeah," she said, "but first," she picked up her purse, "I'd like to introduce you to Jess. She is the mother of the kids I've been caring for."

"Oh?" he said. I guess he didn't think I was a mother. I mean I'm only 22. I'm not that old.

"Yes, Jack, this is Jess, Jess this is Jack," she said introducing both of us.

"Its nice to meet you Jess," he said.

I smiled. "You too." I turned to Chandler. "Well, see ya tomorrow Chan," I said, "and you too Jack."

He looked confused for a minute but then Chandler told him about the little arrangement.

Then they left, leaving me all alone, once again.

I went back into the other room to put Aaron and Autumn to bed. They were so adorable. When I went into the room, they were already passed out on the bed. So I tucked them in and turned out the light.

Then I called Steph and told her I found a babysitter.

After, I went into my room and looked at the pictures in my box.

I remember when I was sixteen. I thought I was all high and mighty. I was sixteen and stupid, that's what I was. How could I have thought Rob cared about me? How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so naive? Why the hell is my life so screwed up!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** The 1-800-where-r-you characters belong the the lovely Meg Cabot. 


	3. Exercising

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I got up really early to go jogging. I brought Aaron and Autumn with me of course. I put them in a carriage so they could sleep still. So, I got up at five and went jogging.

When I got outside it was still dark. It was a very nice morning, not too cold, not too warm. There was also a nice breeze. I ran around two miles and then stopped in central park. By the time I got there the sun was already coming up. I could see the brilliant oranges and pinks lighting up the sky. It really was a nice morning.

I went and sat down on a bench nearby. I got out my water bottle from below the carriage and drank some. Out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn I saw something moving in front of me. I stopped drinking and looked around me. I got up and started walking toward the exit, but someone grabbed my shoulder. I quickly spun around. I came face to face with a guy. It was the guy from the bar.

"What do you want?" I said just above a whisper, so I wouldn't wake my kids.

"Hey there. Whatcha doin up so early?" was his stunning reply. What an asshole!

"I'm exercising. Now leave me alone." I said and started to walk away. But he had to go and put his hand on my shoulder again.

"Touch me again and I'll break your arm," I hissed.

He just chuckled, which made me extremely mad.

I turned around and started to walk away again, until he grabbed my arm. I spun around so fast. I grabbed his arm with my free one and twisted it behind his back. He yelled out in pain. I don't think I broke it, but it'd be sore for a few days.

I grabbed the carriage and started running away. The guy started running after me. So, I turned around again and kicked him where the sun don't shine.

He groaned and fell to his knees. I ran away again.

He didn't come running after me again, but just to be safe, I ran a good distance. I took out my cell and called the local police. I told them about the guy and that I was an FBI agent. So the guy would be charged for assaulting a federal agent. Then I went back to my apartment and fell back asleep. I hadn't realized that I was really that tired.

As I was lying in my bed, I remember seeing someone; someone _really_ familiar, yet it was kinda dark so I couldn't see much. But that person I remember. He looked a lot like – _no, forget him Jess, he's not important anymore._

I woke up later at around ten. My cell was ringing. Shit, I was late for work.

I picke dup my cell and flipped it open, "Mastriani," I croaked into the phone.

"Jess, where the hell are you?" I heard Steph yell into the phone.

"Ugh. Sorry. Some guy tried to harass me this morning while I was jogging. I guess that made me tired and I slept through my alarm. Sorry."

"Yeah, I heard. But its ok, just get here as fast as you can," she said and then hung up.

I got up and took a quick shower. I dressed quickly and then dressed Aaron and Autumn. (Autumn looked adorable in her little pink sun dress and Aaron looked so cute in his new jeans and polo t-shirt. They both have dark, wavy hair and mesmerizing fog colored eyes.) Then I drove them to day-care and drove myself to work. I did all that in under an hour. Man I'm good.

Steph came running up to me when I first walked in the door of the building.

"Jess, oh my god, look at this," she screeched. I looked at the paper in her hand. It was some information on a rapist that had been on the loose.

"So...?" I said.

"Jess, this is the guy they found on the ground in central park. This is the guy at the bar last night. I can't believe I didn't recognize him. You beat him up pretty good though. He had a sprained arm and he could barely walk." Ha! Stupid asshole.

"Really? That's cool. Really it is. I'm just not really in the mood this morning Steph, sorry."

She gave me a sympathetic smile. We both walked to my office. We usually hung out in my office for some odd reason.

"So what're we doing today?" I asked as we sat down.

She looked at me and shrugged, "I really don't know. Krantz wanted us to work on some weird alien case, but then he said we could do whatever we wanted to today since we - actually you - caught the rapist. Basically we have a day off," she said all matter-of-factly.

"Um, thats great. I guess I'll look at some files," I said and winked. She laughed and then walked out of the room, leaving me alone to sleep.

A little while later I felt someone nudging me.

"Jess?" someone said, "Jess, wake up!"

I opened my eyes. In front of me was a very frazzled looking Kara.

"What?" I whined.

"Jess..." she said, "Jess, your kids have been kidnapped."

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_** Meg Cabot owns the 1-800-where-r-you characters. 


	4. Visions

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I looked at Kara, completely stunned.

"Jess!" She yelled. She was on the verge of tears. Why was she upset? They were my kids.

"What?" I managed to croak out.

"Someone has taken your kids, Jess," she said in a soft tone. She was way upset. Not as much as me. However, I wasn't going to cry. I couldn't. That would make me incapable of doing anything productive.

"Why?" I couldn't really say much. I had wanted to say more but my voice wasn't letting me. Then Steph walked in, with the same grim face that Kara had.

"We don't know,"Steph answered.

"How?" I know its pathetic, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to say anything.

"Some men came in and took your kids from the daycare center,"Kare answered.

That was when I got really angry. "What!" I raged, "Didn't anyone stop them?"

"Jess, they tried. Four of the five care givers are severely injured; one was even shot."

"Jesus Christ!" I said. Then I grabbed my purse and ran out the building.

I could hear Kara and Steph screaming behind me to wait. I couldn't. I had to find my kids. I had to know they were okay. I had to save them. After all, the people who kidnapped them were probably people who wanted to kill me.

I drove as fast as I could to get to my apartment, not caring if anyone tried to pull me over.

When I got to the parking garage, I quickly parked and took the elevator. I went into my apartment and grabbed the first thing lying around that were my children's. That one thing happened to be a SpongeBob Squarepants pillow. I hugged the pillow, trying to get a vision. When nothing came, I tried again. _Dammit!_

I tried and tried again, but nothing came.

I frantically ran around my apartment looking for things. I found a picture of them and me when we went to Ft. Meyers last year. I stared intently at that picture, but still nothing came.

Then I began to cry. I ran into their room and lay on Autumn's bed and cried into the pillow.

_Why is this happening to me?_

_Can't anything go right in my life?_

_First this stupid ESP thing, then Rob, and now my kids. Why God? Why are you punishing me?_

_What have I done? _

_Why do you hate me?_

That was when I got a vision.

I knew where they were.

Now all I had to do was get there.

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_** Meg Cabot owns the 1-800-where-r-you characters. 


	5. Rescuing and Confessing

****

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

"Absolutely not!" Krantz screamed. We were in his office. I told him about my vision and where my kids were and that I was going to them. Why I did such a stupid thing, I do not know. I shouldn't have told him that I was going. I really shouldn't have. Then I wouldn't have him yelling at me. Why did I get myself into this mess?

"Why?" I asked. Krantz just seemed to get even more pissed off. Why is he getting mad at me? Its not like his kids are missing and have been kidnapped. Come to think of it, he doesn't even _have_ kids!

"Because Jessica," he stated, "if you get hurt by these people, then it will be worse than the original situation."

"But these are my _kids_, Dr. K," I said calmer than I felt, "I _need_ to get to them. I _need_ to find them."

"I understand Jessica, but we need a plan," Krantz said. He looked stressed out. Pfft. _He_ was stressed out? Wow, he should take a good look at me. I'm having a nervous breakdown. I may not sound like it, but inside I'm crumbling under all the stress.

"Well, we better hurry up then!" I shouted.

To say Krantz looked surprised would be a major understatement. He looked _way_ taken aback by my outburst.

"Jessica! Kindly do not shout at me! I'm trying the best I can. I know you are stressed out and nervous and anxious, but please do not take it out on me."

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Dr. K, but I _really _need to get to them."

He looked me in the eye, "I know Jess, I know. We'll get to them as soon as possible."

"Thank you," I whispered. Then I felt the tears prickling at the back of my eyes. _Why now?_

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I wiped the tears away and looked up to see who it was.

It was Kara.

"Jess, don't worry. We'll find them," she said consolingly. That just made me cry more. How much she cared, I mean.

"Jess, Krantz just went to talk to some other agents. He said he's be back in a little bit after he discusses a plan with them," she explained.

I nodded to show her that I was listening and understood.

"Jess, listen, I'm really sorry about all of this. I can't believe this really happened," she started, "but I talked to Dr. K, and I suggested that we start up a little day care center in the building for all of the agents to keep their smaller children while they work."

I nodded.

"Is that a good idea to you?" she inquired.

"Yeah," I croaked out.

"Okay, well Krantz thought it was a good idea, so as soon as we find your kids, we'll start it up. First, we'll have to find some good care givers, but as soon as we've done that, we'll let your kids in first. It'll be free, so no need to pay it. Krantz said the company'll pay for it."

"Okay."

"Oh, and we're going to start painting the extra office tomorrow, you know, for the kids. What color do you think would be good?"

I shrugged.

"Come on Jess, don't just sit there like a blob. Talk to me. Yell at me. I really don't care. I just need to know that you're alive."

I nodded again.

"Kara," I stopped.

"Yes?"

"Okay, I think yellow would be a great color. Like a light, sun yellow."

"Sounds great to me."

"Yeah," was my stunning response.

"So..." she trailed off.

"Look, Kara, I don't really feel like talking right now."

She nodded, "I understand."

And then Krantz walked in.

"Jessica, we've come up with an elaborate plan."

"And..."

"We're putting it into action immediately."

"Finally!" I yelled.

"Go get your stuff. We're leaving in two minutes," he said.

I ran out the door and into my office. I grabbed my belt with my gun on it and everything and put it on. Then I ran out the door and back into Krantz's office.

I followed him into the van, along with a few other agents and Kara and Steph.

Krantz told me the plan. Wasn't really all that great, but for an I-just-came-up-with-this-in-two-minutes plan, it wasn't that bad. I was to go in, quietly, and look around. And when I've found my kids, or someone tries to grab me, I press a little button on my belt and they come storming in to get me. Sounds great, right? Eh, not the greatest, but it'll do. I have a feeling these are amateurs we are dealing with.

101-

Okay, so we arrived at the place that was in my vision.

And boy were these people gonna pay.

They were keeping my kids in an old run-down shack. It was disgusting! Ita appalling how little some people think about the safety of children. Fucking assholes.

"Jessica, are you ready?" Dr. K asked me.

I nodded, "uh huh," and I put on my trench coat to cover up y gun and crap. Then I let down my hair. Uh, just not in a rupunzel (sp?) way or anything.

"You know what to do," he said to me before I took off.

I casually walked down the gravel path. When I reached the door. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was around - well, besides Krantz and the other agents, of course. When the cost was clear, I slowly opened the door and stepped in.

Man, it was completely dark in there. It was pitch black. How the hell are you supposed to see?

I remembered from my vision that they were being kept in one of the rooms upstairs. So, I carefully climbed up the stairs, trying not to make a sound. I got to the second to last step, when it creaked. _Crreeeaaakkk._

I stayed still for a minute, and when no one came yelling or anything, I continued walking.

I got to the top a few seconds later. I then looked around to see if the cost was clear, yet again.

It was and I proceeded to the second door on the left. I reached it and slowly opened it.

The first thing I saw was a cage. Then I saw a little boy and girl inside of there. _What kind of sick people are they? Keeping little children in cages? Fucking bastards._

I looked around and saw no one. So I went in. That was a mistake. My kids noticed me right away and screamed, "Mommy!" in unison, which woke up whatever guard that was in the corner - the one I hadn't noticed.

"Hey!" he yelled, "who are you?"

I looked at him and smiled - a fake one, obviously - then replied with this, "Oh, sorry to startle you sir, but I was called from one of your other men. He told me to take the children to a new location. He said the feds were on our trail and we needed to get them out immediately."

I saw his eyes widen and the he spoke, "Jesus Christ! Ok, well take them. I'll go get the other men. We'll be there in a minute." He threw me the key to the cage. _Ha, naive son of a bitch._

I quickly opened the cage and grabbed them, "Take your time," I yelled to the guy, "I'll be waiting."

Then, with my kids in my arms, I ran as fast as I could down the stairs and out the door.

I ran to the van and shoved Autumn and Aaron into the van.

"Wow, you got them that fast?" asked one of the other agents - whose name was John.

"Yeah, those guys were so naive. Um, they should be together somewhere in there, so go get 'em," I said.

Five of the other agents, including John, ran out of the van, armed with weapons, and went in there and busted down the door. I heard a little commotion and then John came out a few minutes later. They had about five men cuffed.

One of them screamed, "She tricked me! Stupid bitch!"

I laughed silently to myself. Kara and Steph were sitting with me in the back of the van. They were cooing at my kids. _Yeah, they are adorable, I know._

101-

"Hey, uh, would you guys mind staying at my apartment tonight?" I aksed Kara and Steph.

They both smiled.

"Of course, Jess," Kara said, "but only if I can bring my boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you can bring Bryan over. As long as you guys aren't doing anything not fit for children's eyes."

Kara just laughed at me, "No, Jess. We would never thing of doing that in _your_ apartment."

I laughed. "Yeah, okay. Just gt your stuff and come over. I'll try and bake some cookies or something."

"Hey, you mind if I bring my boyfriend too?" Steph asked.

"Of course not! I haven't seen Jake in a while anyway," I replied.

"You know, Jess, Jake has a really cute friend who I think you'd be interested in," Steph said.

"No, I told you guys. I'm fine without men in my life right now. I still haven't fully recovered after what happened to me. And plus, I'm sure Jake's friend isn't into relationship commitment, let alone being a father figure."

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that," she said.

"Uh huh," I said, "now go get your stuff and come over."

"Okay, Jess," Kara replied sarcastically.

"Wait, you guys have the keys, right?" I asked. I gave them keys to my apartment a while ago. You know, just so I don't have to get up and open the door, they can let themselves in.

"Yeah, we're good," Kara said, while they both flashed me their keys on their keyrings.

"Okay, then see ya later," I said and waved goodbye.

I walked out of the FBI building with my kids and waved down a cab.

"Where to?" the guy asked. I gave him my address and just sat back for the fifteen minute ride.

"Okay," the man said. I got out with my kids and took the elevator up.

"You guys need a bath, don't you?" I asked my kids. They looked pretty filthy. I mean, they haven't taken a bath in a little while, you know, having being kidnapped and all.

They both nodded their heads. So, I threw a pizza in the oven and then took them to the bathroom.

I started the water and went into their room to get their pajamas. I walked back into the bathroom and let them take their clothes off and get into the bathtub.

Aaron got in first. Then Autumn got in. She jumped back up in shock.

"What is it, honey?" I asked her.

She pouted, "It's hot mommy!"

"Autumn, its fine. Look, Aaron's fine. Is it hot, Aaron?" He shook his head. Autumn looked at me and then slowly got in.

I let them wash themselves. I think almost-five year olds can take baths by themselves, just with supervision.

I was reading the newspaper, when Autumn spoke.

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you came to save us."

"Me too sweetie, me too." I would've hugged her, but she was soaking wet from being in the tub. But I did give her a kiss on the top of her head.

"You guys all done?" I asked them.

"Mm hmm," they said in unison.

"Okay," I handed them towels to wrap themselves in and then their clothes. They walked out and went to change.

I walked back into the kitchen and took the pizza out. It was perfectly done. Mmm, haven't had pizza in a while. Trying to watch the carbs.

"Knock, knock," I heard from the door to my apartment. In walked Kara, Steph, Jake, and Bryan.

"Hey guys," I smiled.

"Hey yourself," Kara said.

"Okay, well make yourselves comfy. I just made a pizza. But I guess I'll ahve to put another one in for you guys."

"Don't bother, we already ate." Steph intervened.

"Alrighty then," I said, "I'll be right back."

I walked into the kids' room.

"You guys all ready for bed?"

Autumn pouted again. "No, why can't we go watch movies and stuff with you guys?"

"Because, honey, we are going to do grown-up stuff," I answered her, "but I promise another night you guys can hang out with us." I kissed her forehead and then Aaron's.

"Go to bed," I whispered and then turned out their light.

I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a few cokes for us.

I walked into the lounge and put the cokes on the coffee table.

Kara looked at me questioningly, "Cokes? Jess, you know us better than that."

I rolled my eyes and went and got some beers instead.

"That better?"

"Much better."

"So," Kara started, "what's up, Jess?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted company tonight. You know, after what happened."

"Understandable," Kara said and took a swig of her beer.

There was a few moments silence, but then Jake broke it.

"So, Jess, I was thinking, since you have no boyfriend," gee, rub it in ehy don't you, "maybe you'd like to go out with my friend."

"I already told Steph no. I'm not ready for another relationship yet, not after what I went through," I explained.

"Jess, you always refuse these things. Its been _five_ years, Jess," Kara said exasperatedly.

"I know Kara, but I still haven't gotten over it. If you knew what I went through, then you'd understand."

"Then _tell_ us, so we can understand."

I sighed, and said, "Fine."

"Well, I guess I should start at the very beginning."

"Yeah..." Kara said, urging me to go on.

"Well, when I was in high school, I was always getting into trouble. Mostly because people would just piss me off and I'd punch them. And then I'd get sent to detention for it. Well, one day I was in detention, and the teacher supervising told be to sit between these two guys, because I was the only girl and she said something about woman power or something. So, I did. One of the guys was really hot. We kept writing notes to eachother and stuff and then he asked me out.

"So, I went out with him. He didn't know that I was 2 years younger than him at the time though. And when he found out he was pretty angry that I hadn't told him, but, honestly, I didn't know it really mattered. But he told me why it did matter. He said he was on probation and if his probation officer caught him with me, he's be in trouble.

"So, for a few months, we kept our relationship a secret. Occasionally, I'd get into some major trouble and he'd be there to help me out of it. Like that time with the true Americans and this chold-abuser step-father. And, you know what, I was really falling for him, really hard. And I couldn't help it.

"Well, after the True Americans thing, he got hit on the back of the head with a mashed-potato bowl and was unconscious for a while. But they took him to the hospital and that was where I told my parents about us going out. Yeah, they freaked, but whatever. That was when he told me that he liked me _too_ much.

"Everything was going fine until I was eighteen and we decided we both wanted to have sex. So, we did –"

Kara interrupted me, "Wait, was that the time that got you pregnant?"

"Yeah it was.

"Anywho, as I was saying, we had sex and I got pregnant.

"Well, I found out one day, but I wasn't to see Rob until that Saturday. And then that Friday I had to work at this church for community service because I punched this bitch in the face and broke her nose.

"I was partnered with this really pretty girl, who was new in town. Well, I went away for a few minutes to get a few boxes from downstairs. And when I came back up, I saw Rob kissing the girl. She had her arms around his neck and was getting really into it. Rob pulled away as soon as he saw me, but I ran away.

"He shouted my name a few times, but I just ran away. I called up Krantz and told him I had to get away fast. He offered me this job and here I am today."

Kara came over and hugged me, "Oh, Jess, I'm _soo_ sorry. I had no idea."

For some reason, now that I had gotten that off my chest, I felt a lot better. Not enoguh to date again, but I felt so much better.

"Thanks, K, really, I'm glad that someone was listening to me. I guess I just really needed to get that off my chest."

We talked a bit more that night, about some other junk I don't really remember. But, after spilling my guts to my best friends, I feel like a better person than I was. And no, I didn't make those cookies after all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me.


	6. The News

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

_Three months later..._

"Hey Jess," Kara greeted me as I came into work. She was in a rather happy mood this morning.

"Hey Kara," I replied.

"Jess, oh my god, guess what?" she asked.

"Uh, what?" was my stunning reply. She looked so happy and crap. I really can't figure out why though.

"Your not gonna believe this," she said, "Jess, there's a new transfer coming in a week."

"Yeah, so..." I said boredly.

"Jess, it's a guy,"she said.

"And..." I said. I really don't care about some stupid transfer.

"He's gonna be your new partner," she finished.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Jess, calm down. This new dude is gonna be your new FBI partner. Krantz told us that we can't work in three's anymore. He said it doesn't work well that way. However, he also said that your gonna love this guy when he comes," she explained to me.

"How the hell does _he_ know?" I queried. I'm really getting sick of this conversation. And I don't want a new partner. I'd rather work alone, then have some new transfer come. He's probably an arrogant jackass anyway.

"He said he knows the guy and that you would like him. I don't know, that's what he told me," she replied.

"That _asshole_! He makes these plans before talking to _me_ about it!" I screamed and stormed down the hallway.

I had to take the elevator to theseventh floor because Krantz was working with some new trainee today.

"Krantz!" I screamed when I burst through the door.

He turned around and looked at me with a smirk playing on his lips. "I take it you heard the news, Jessica."

I narrowed my eyes. "_Yes_, I heard the news," I shrewdly said, "and I'm not very happy with it."

"Jessica, please, just go with this for once," he pleaded.

"Maybe I would have if you talked to me about it _beforehand_."

"No you wouldn't have, Jessica," he simply stated.

"Okay, so I wouldn't have, but that still doesn't make it right!" I shouted. The new trainee looked at me and had a confused expression on his face. I just rolled my eyes at him. Amateur.

"Jessica, please don't raise your voice," he scolded.

I ignored his last comment and proceeded with the questions, "So, Dr. K, who is this new guy? Is he someone _I_ know? 'Cause I already heard that you knew him."

"Jessica, you will meet him in a few days. Then will be the time for introductions," he said a little nervously.

"Dr. K, I should know the name of this transfer before he comes. I mean, you're splitting us up for this dude, so at least do me the liberty of giving me his name," I said.

"Jessica, as I said before, you will be introduced to him in a few days," he said in his and-that's-that tone.

"Fine, whatever," I agreed. I was kinda drained all of a sudden. I didn't feel like arguing anymore.

"Now Jessica, I believe you have a project to work on," he said. I just shook my head and left. God, that guy gets on my nerves sometimes.

-(§)-

Kara, Steph, and I decided to go out to lunch today to catch up on a few things. We went to this newcafe in town called Sacred Grounds. I heard it had many good reviews, so we decided we'd try it out.

"So, Jess, I heard about this new transfer. God, I hope he's a hottie," Steph said and sighed. Jesus Christ, she has a boyfriend.

"Yeah, well, I could care less. I still can't believe Krantz did this to me. I mean, I was perfectly fine working with you guys and he has to come along and ruin it all."

Kara just rolled her eyes. "Jess, God, give this guy a chance. Maybe he'll come through. You never know. Maybe he'll make a good partner and...maybe even more," she winked and then smirked. God, I could strangle her right now.

I was about to say something, but then Steph went, "Jess, come on, you gotta get into the dating world again. I mean, you only went out with what...one guy? Jess, please, you gotta get over that asshole. He's not worth your pain."

"I know," I said, "but I just can't help it. I was in love with the guy, and he just goes and screws it up with some slut."

Steph, for some odd reason, decided to clang the knife against one of the glasses. "You making a toast?" I asked.

"No, I was just trying to get us back on track," she replied.

"And what would that be?"

"The new transfer! Duh!" she responded.

"Oh, well what about him?" I asked.

"I think we should invite him for lunch when he comes. You know, to get to know him a little," she announced.

"I'm sure I'll get to know him pretty well, since he'll be my _partner_." I stated.

"Jess, I know, okay, so shut up," Steph said.

Then Kara said, "Yeah, I think thats a good idea. We should like leave a note on his desk or something to tell him to meet us somewhere. Or we can have Krantz tell him."

"Fine, sounds good," I groaned.

"Wow, you're ever so enthusiastic today, Jess," she said.

"Tell me about it," I responded.

We sat in silence for the rest of our lunch hour and ate our food. Then we went back to work and did our jobs. Kara and Steph went to go tell Krantz about the lunch plans, while I stayed and fell asleep at my desk.

Then at five o'clock, I went to the daycare center that was now part of the building and got Autumn and Aaron and went home. It wasn't really a fun-filled day, but now I know I'm gonna have to deal with some new guy as my FBI partner. OH JOY!

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me. 


	7. The Transfer

**__**

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Okay, so today is the day that the new guy is coming.

I really do want to meet the guy, but why do I have the feeling he is gonna be an arrogant jackass?

Because maybe he is?

Alright, I know I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, especially if it's a book you haven't even _seen_.

I guess I'll just have to wait until lunch to meet him, because Krantz specifically said that I wasn't to meet him until we all went out for lunch. Why that is, I do not know. Krantz is getting weirder by the minute - and _way_ more suspicious.

So here I am in my office filing some paperwork for some case that I was supposed to be working on. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing, so when Kara burst through the door, I dropped everything.

"Oh, my god!" she screamed.

I stared at her in confusion. I was friends with her for five years, but whenever she did that, I still didn't know what was going on.

"Uh, what?" I asked.

"Jess! The new guy is here! I just met him and he is a major HOTTIE!" she screeched.

A major hottie? Yeah, I guess that means he probably is going to be an arrogant jerk.

"What's his name?" I heard myself ask.

She hesitated a minute, but then said, "I don't know, I forgot to ask."

"Bullshit, Kara, I know when you're lying," I replied.

She sighed, "Fine, Jess, you're right. But Krantz said I couldn't tell you his name or else I'd get fired," she said.

That's when I got really mad. What the HELL is going on? Is everyone conspiring against me or somehting? I mean really? Why doesn't Krantz want me to know who he is?

"Jess?" Kara said timidly, "Jess, please don't get mad at me. You'll meet him in an hour anyway. It's not that long. Steph, you, and me are going together. Krantz said we were meeting them at Hallaway. Its that new restaurant on 12th and 5th," she babbled.

I just rolled my eyes. "Fine," I said, "and I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Krantz."

"Okay," she tittered nervously, "well, come to my car in 45 minutes and we'll go." And she left, leaving me alone again.

When we went there, I was going to kill Krantz. What the hell was he up to? Why didn't he want me to know who the new transfer was?

(§)

The clock struck 12:30 and I fled my office. I went up to the fifth floor where the daycare center was and went to visit my kids.

Krantz was there too.

He looked up and smiled.

I marched up to him. "What the HELL are you doing, Dr. K?" I shrilled.

He put a hand on my shoulder and said, "Jessica, don't be mad. Trust me, this is for the best."

"For the BEST? This is for the BEST? It sure as hell better be!" I yelled.

Then I looked around the room for my kids. They were in the corner staring at me with wide eyes. Oops.

I went over to them and said I was sorry for yelling. They were pretty weirded out that I could yell like that. Then I said I was going out for lunch and would be back in a little while.

Then I went down to Kara's car. Her ans Steph were already there, waiting for me, I guess. I got in the car and we went off. It took around fifteen minutes to get there, but we were actually pretty early. I guess we had a reservation or something.

We sat down at our table and looked at the menus.

Then Steph said, "Look, there he is, Jess," she said and pointed to someone behind me. I didn't care to look, actually. I'd just wait until he introduced himself.

About a minute later Krantz came over with a wavy-haired guy who was obviously well-built. I just rolled my eyes and looked at my menu. The guy sat across from me and his knees bumped against mine as he did so.

I put my menu down to look at the guy. He was talking to Krantz, who was sitting next to him, and his face was turned. I knew that face, though.

Then he turned around to look at me.

That's when I gasped. I was looking in the face of someone I hadn't seen in five years. Someone who had hurt me so much. And now he was sitting right in front of me.

I looked to Krantz and he was biting his bottom lip. He wanted to see how I reacted to seeing a certain someone again. I could kill him for this. For bringing up so many unwanted emotions.

I looked back at him and said, "Rob."

"Mastriani."

That's when I tore myself from my seat and fled - to the bathroom.

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me. 


	8. Spaz

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I was in one of the stalls in the bathroom - which were totally gross, by the way - crying.

I can't believe its him. After all these years, he just thinks he can barge into my life again. Why?

And why did Krantz do this to me? He _definitely_ knows who Rob is. Rob was with me all of those times we were helping the missing kids.And now Rob is my new PARTNER! Does he have any idea what seeing Rob again could do to me? Well, I guess he does now. I mean, I wasn't exactly subtle when I ran to the bathroom.

"Jess?"

Oh. Great. Now they're looking for me. Now they probably think I'm pathetic and weak. Just another wonderful thing to add to my list. Can my life get _any_ worse?

Don't answer that.

"Jess?" Kara called again. I heard her footsteps echo throughout the high-ceilinged restroom. I could tell she was looking under the stalls for me. I don't see why though, I was sobbing pretty loudly.

"Jess, I know you're in here. Please come out," she pleaded.

I knew she'd keep pestering me to come out, so I just did her the favor of doing so.

"Oh, Jess," I heard her say. What? Was something on my face?

Oh, wait, my mascara. Oh, god, I really need to buy water-proof mascara. It would do a lot of good.

I went over to the mirror and tried washing my face. I washed all of my makeup off 'cause it was all running anyway. Shit, I forgot my purse at the table.

I turned to Kara, who was looking at me intently. She studied me with her eyes for a minute and then said, "Oh," and fumbled through her purse. She took her mascara, eyeliner, and lipgloss from her bag.

I gladly took them and started applying it. Kara still hadn't said a word to me.

After I finished my makeup, Kara finally spoke.

"Jess, what was that all about?" God, that girl has no tact whatsoever.

I tried ignoring her, but it was a little difficult considering she was right next to me.

"Jess, please? Just tell me okay?" she pleaded.

"Kara, look, I can't right now. Before I tell you anything, I have to deal with Krantz," I said. Then I stormed out of the bathroom.

I went up to our table and smiled at them - actually, only Steph, because I sent glares in Rob's and Krantz's direction.

I tapped Krantz on the shoulder and said, "May I have a word with you?"

He hesitated, but then nodded. He knew what was coming. This was going to be the worst thing ever to come his way.

We went outside and sat down on a bench. I looked at him. He smiled weakly at me.

"So, Dr. K, would you like to tell me why my ex-boyfriend is in there?" I asked as sweetly as I could.

His smile faded and was replaced with a scowl. "Jessica, there are some things you just don't understand."

The sweet side of me was lost. "_I_ don't understand? Cyrus, I think its _you_ that doesn't understand. There are some things you don't even _know_, let alone understand," I explained.

"Jessica, Mr. Wilkins was your boyfriend five years ago," he said.

"Uh, tell me something I don't know," I said. Why the hell was he telling me something I reminded myself everyday?

"Let's just go back inside. You and him and can have your own little chat."

I glared at him. "Nuh uh. I'm not going to talk to him. If I do, I'll end up killing him. You should know that," I chided.

"Jessica, play nice," he said.

Play nice? That's something you tell little kids, not 23-year olds.

He went back inside and sat down. I watched him through the glass of the restaurant. I didn't want to go back in there, but I had to. Well, it was either that or walk back to work, which was a good ten miles away.

So, I walked back in there and took my seat across from Rob. Kara sent me a 'We'll talk later' look and I just groaned - inwardly.

I looked at Rob and tried to smile. I succeeded, but not by much.

"So, _Rob_, what brings you to New York?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure you know what, Mastriani," he replied.

You know, I was right about him before, he _is_ and arrogant jerk-off.

"Right. You're my new FBI partner. How did that come to be?"

He hesitated a moment, but then answered, "Well, after you left, I decided I'd join the FBI. I knew I couldn't work in my uncle's garage for the rest of my life, so I signed up. Cyrus here, got me into the training for cheap, so I could actually afford it. And it made my mother happy," he explained.

"Why the FBI though?" I asked, "you hated the FBI when we—" I stopped. I couldn't bring myself to say it, especially in front of Kara and Steph.

Needless to say, they - Kara and Steph - looked at me expectantly.

Rob looked at me knowingly. I looked away from his gaze and settled for the swirly table top. I felt his foot tough mine under the table. I quickly looked up from the fascinating table. He smiled at me. He frigging _smiled_ at me. What's up with that?

Unfortunately, the timid side of me took over and I blushed. Stupid red pigments.

"I chose the FBI because I knew that one day I would maybe see you again," he said tenderly. Oh god, _why_ did he have to say _that_. I knew without looking at them that Kara and Steph were looking at me. I knew what the topic of conversation would be when we got back to work. _You knew him?_ they would ask.

I looked at him. "Right. And what makes you think that I'd _want_ to see you again?" I asked.

He looked hurt when I said that.

HA! He's hurt? He should see the way he hurt me. Then, we'd be talking.

"Jess," he started, but stopped. He looked over at Krantz and he nodded. Okay, is this some secret code or something? "Jess, there are some things you just don't understand. I know what you thought you saw, but it wasn't like that, I—"

"No, Rob, don't even bother. This conversation is over. Don't you _dare_ bring that up again. I mean it," I seethed. I was way pissed off. He had the nerve to come back into my life and say that I didn't know what I saw? What kind of ass does that? Well, him obviously, but besides that?

Yeah, that would be a big fat ZERO.

"Jess, please," he pleaded, "just _listen_ t— "

"NO!" I yelled. Everyone started to look over at our table. But you know what? I didn't give a shit. "I don't want to hear a word you say. If I knew it was you that was coming, I'd be out of this city faster than you could say 'transfer'."

He was about to say something else, but I simply said, "This conversation is over, Wilkins."

He stopped, looking defeated.

I got up and started walking towards the exit. I needed some fresh air after that. So I walked outside and sat down on the same bench that Krantz and I had sat on before. A few minutes later I felt someone else sit down beside me. It was Kara.

"Jess, what was that in there?" she asked for the second time today.

I sighed, "I don't feel like talking about it right now."

"Listen Jess, I'm sorry," she apologized.

I looked at her, confused, "Sorry for what?"

"For not telling you who it was," she said, "if I had known you would've reacted that way, I would've told you in a heartbeat."

"Kara, its fine. You didn't know. And besides, I wouldn't want you to get fired because of me," I said. I mean, how shitty would I feel if my friend got fired because of me? Yeah, pretty shitty.

She gave me a hard look, "Jess, you are _way_ more important than some stupid job."

That touched me. It really did. My friend was willing to get fired for me. I . . . I was touched.

"Thanks, K. It means so much to me that you care that much." I really didn't know that she cared for me - my feelings - that much. I didn't know that people actually _cared_ about me. I know quite a few who don't.

We sat for a few minutes in a very uncomfortable silence. Then she said, "Do you want to go back inside now?"

I looked at her like she was crazy. "Go back in_ there_? With _him?_"

She answered modestly, "Uh, yeah."

"I'm not going back in there. Nuh uh. Not after I just freaked out. And not with him in there."

"What do you propose we do then?" she asked.

"Uh, just go get Steph and tell Krantz we're leaving," I answered.

She shook her head. "Alright, I'll be right out," she said and disappeared into the restaurant.

I sat on the bench contemplating my life. What did I do wrong? Did I really deserve what was happening to me? Okay, so maybe I wasn't an angel my whole life, but I definitely wasn't a horrible person. I didn't commit homicide or anything. Actually, I _helped_ people. I found missing people and reunited them with their families. I caught criminals and put them in their place. So why was I being punished?

Okay, lets recap for a minute. The only guy I ever loved cheated on me _and_ got me pregnant. I live alone for five years with two kids. Then five years after I leave the guy, he comes back to ruin my life again. Do you see something wrong here?

I know I do.

But I can't help thinking maybe what I'm thinking is wrong.

I mean, I have two wonderful children that wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. I have a pretty nice job. I live in a nice apartment. I have the best friends anyone could ever have.

But the thing I want - _need_ - so much is nonexistant in my life. I don't have someone to love. Yes, I have my kids. But that love is unconditional. I want someone who I could marry someday and make love to and just_ love._

Is that so much to ask?

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me. 


	9. Calling Home

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Krantz let me go early. Right after the lunch incident.

I guess he knew I'd refuse to work if he didn't let me. And, face it, if it wasn't for me, there would be a LOT more missing people in the world.

So when I got home - with my kids, of course - I decided to give my family a call.

Now, I know what you're thinking. _After five years, she's just going to go and _call _them?_

Well, yeah, basically.

I mean, I haven't spoken to them in over five years. What better time to make amends than now?

So, you know, I dialed my home phone number - things like that you just do not forget.

It rang three times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" I heard a guy ask on the other line. I think it was Mike.

I didn't respond, so they went again, "Hello?"

If I didn't answer this time, surely he would hang up on me. "Mike?" I answered.

"Who's th—?" he stopped and then said, "Jess?"

I could easily hear the disbelief in his tone. And the surprise.

"Uh yeah," I responded lamely.

"Hold on, I'll go get mom," he said.

Mom? Oh, shit, I couldn't bare to talk to her right now. I'm more comfortable with talking to Mike.

"Wait!" I yelled into the phone.

"What?" he asked.

"Mike, I - I can't talk to her yet. Please, don't," I begged.

He seemed to oblige and said, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you calling?"

"Is that a complaint?" I said humorously.

"No, its just that, well, none of us has talked to you in five years, Jess, and it's a little peculiar that you'd call out of the blue like this," he explained.

Yeah, I guess I could see where he was coming from. I mean, I DID kind of call out of the blue. Five years is a hell of a long time.

Even though it seemed like only five minutes ago to me.

"I know. It's just, well, I miss you guys. I haven't been with anybody for five years and I'm kind of lonely here. Well, except for—" Oh, shit, I almost spilled the beans. I almost told him about my kids.

"Except for what, Jess?" he asked.

"Um, nothing, just some friends I have here," I supplied quickly. Well, it WAS the truth, just not what I was gonna say before.

"So, where are you living?" he asked.

Uh, should I tell him? I mean, is he going to come and look for me and then tell everybody where I am?

Wait, this is Mike we're talking about.

"New York City," I answered.

"Oh, sounds . . . interesting," I am so sure, "well, I, uh, do you think - can I come visit you sometime?" he asked.

Oh, god, would I love that. To see him again. My brother.

"Um, sure," I said quickly, before I changed my mind, "when?"

"Um, maybe this weekend?" he questioned.

God, I can't wait to see him. Who cares if I'm blowing my cover.

"Yeah, this weekend sounds great. Saturday, right?" I asked.

"Sure. I'll try and get a ticket tonight," he said.

"Okay," wow, I actually am happy about this, "what are you doing at mom and dad's anyway?" I asked.

"Well, I came by to pick up my kid, since mom was watching him," he answered.

Wow, so much has happened while I was gone. Well, I still am gone.

"Wow, I guess you married Claire then?"

"Yeah, three years ago. And Doug and Tasha got married last year. Oh, and Aunt Rose, Jess, she uh, died last year." he supplied me with all of this information.

Great Aunt Rose? God, did I give a _shit_ about _her_? NO.

Well, I still felt bad. I mean, she WAS a relative.

I felt even worse when I realized I had missed both of my brother's weddings AND the birth of my nephew.

It was a horrible feeling. It truly was.

And it was all because of one guy.

One stupid fucking guy.

1-1-1-1-1

I picked Mike up at the airport Saturday afternoon. He looked great.

He called yesterday, which was Friday, so I didn't have to deal with Rob.

Yet.

I called Chandler to babysit the twins. I didn't want Mike to see them yet. He could wait.

"So, Jess," Mike said, trying to make some conversation, "what have you been doing with yourself?"

"Working," I replied simply.

"Working..." he replied in an a-little-more-info-please way.

"Yes, working. For the FBI."

"Really? Wow, that sounds great. Do you like it?"

I dunno. Do I like it?

I mean, I guess I did, but recent events have kind of ruined that.

"Eh, its okay, I guess. The pay is pretty good, though."

"I can imagine," he replied.

"So, what're you doing?" I asked. I had one hand on the steering wheel and the other at my side. I have become a pretty good driver if I do say so myself.

"I'm a computer programmer," he answered, "I get pretty good money too."

Oh. I really didn't know what a computer programmer did and, to tell you the truth, I kind of didn't care. So I pretended I knew.

"Oh. That's great, Mike. Really, it is."

He smiled at me. "Jess, we all missed you so much. Why did you leave?" he asked.

I sighed.

"I knew that was coming. Listen, I'll answer your question when we get to my place. Okay?"

"Um, okay," he said.

We arrived at the apartment building parking lot.

I offered Mike some help with his bags, but he said he could do it himself, even if he looked like he was struggling. Thank god the buliding had an elevator.

We walked through my door and Mike dropped his stuff near it.

"Come on, I want you to meet some people," I told him and grabbed his arm.

"Okay..."

I led him down the hallway and to the living room. Autumn, Aaron, and Chandler were sitting on the couch watching television.

"Mike, I'd like you to meet Autumn, Aaron, and Chandler," I said and pointed to them as I said their names, "And this is my brother, Mike, you guys."

They all said their 'hello's' while I waited for Mike to ask the question.

"Who are they exactly? I mean, what are their relationships with you, Jess?" he asked, when we were in my bedroom, talking.

"Um, well, I know this is going to sound...bizarre, but Autumn and Aaron are my kids, Mike. And Chandler is their babysitter."

He choked on the soda he was drinking.

"WHAT?"

"I, uh, got pregnant back in Indiana and—"

"So, THAT'S why you left?"

I gave him a guilty shrug and went to look at the carpet. It was blue.

"Well, more or less," I said. God, I don't think I could bare to tell him what happened between Rob and I. And now that he's BACK. Oh, dear lord. Help me.

He just kept looking at me. And shaking his head, he said, "Oh, my god, Jess. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

I looked up at him when he asked that. I mean, it WAS kind of obvious why, exactly, I didn't tell anyone.

Can you say homicide?

"I think its rather obvious, Mike," I told him.

And he replied, "Well, okay, maybe I'm retarded then. Please, enlighten me."

I just rolled y eyes, even though there really wasn't anything eye-rolling worthy happening at the moment. That's just me, though.

"Um, well," I started. How do I put this? "I just didn't think Mom and Dad would take it well - Mom especially. It just _happened_, you know?"

That last question was meant to be rhetorical, but Mike, I guess, didn't see it that way.

"It just _happened_? Jess, you don't just GET pregnant. There IS an activity required in that process and—"

I cut him off with a, "MIKE! PLEASE, just stop there. I had sex, okay? Your little baby sister had sex at 17, alright? I got pregnant. I know the consequences of my actions. Now, can we PLEASE not talk about the baby making process?"

Especially since the guy I did it with is a two-timing jerk.

But I wasn't going to say that to him. That would merit unwanted questions.

He looked at me weirdly and said, "Uhh, sure. Sorry."

Then an awkward silence fell upon us like morning dew on a freshly mowed lawn.

Hmm.

This was...weird.

And then Mike had to go and ask, "Jess, uh, can I just know who the, um, father is?"

I didn't want to tell him. I mean, I knew he'd get mad.

But I also knew that he pretty much knew who it was an d just needed confirmation of accusations.

"You know who it is, Mike," I told him.

To which he replied with, "You're right, I do."

Then I went back to looking at the lovely blue rug, which now appeared almost gray.

Weird.

"Did - Jess, did something else happen between you two? I mean, he would have come with you, to live with you. I could just tell when he looked at you sometimes."

I wanted to scream at Mike right now. He was so naive.

But I held it in. For now.

"You're wrong, Mike. He never loved me. I thought he did, too, but it turns out it was just some big, huge lie," I replied bitterly.

Mike now looked skeptical. I know he wanted to press it more, but didn't know if I'd explode at him or not.

I guess he went for the plunge.

"Jess, what'd he do to you?" he asked incredulously.

Now I was just acting like a bitch. But I couldn't help it.

I said, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I could tell he was getting a little annoyed, but I was hesitant on telling him, afraid of what he would do.

"Yes, actually I would, Jess/ You're my little sister, Jess, and I want to be there for you when you need help or support. Like now, for instance," he said.

"Fine, MIKE. You want to know what the son of a bitch did to me? DO YOU?" God, I was way past my breaking point. "He FREAKING CHEATED ON ME! WITH SOME NEW GIRL WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A COMPLETE _SLUT_!"

I've officially cracked.

"JESS! Calm down!" he yelled trying to get me to, get this, calm down. Who would've thought?

I let out a long breath and apologized, "Oh, god, Mike, I'm SO sorry. I just - I guess I've had so much pent up anger and stuff. I really am sorry."

He looked apologetic, too.

"Nah, its okay, I understand. And I PROMISE I will get that asshole back for you," he promised.

Oh, my god. At first I thought he meant he was going to get Rob back TOGETHER with me!

Phew! I overreact too much.

"Um, no, its okay. Really, Mike, I'm over it," I said, which, of course, was a complete and utter lie.

He gave me a suspicious look and said, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said, which, might I add, was not at all convincing.

"Jess has he — have you seen him lately?" he finally asked.

I knew lying would get me nowhere.

So I nodded.

His eyes grew wide. "Where?" he asked gently, which was, you know, weird. Whatever.

I didn't want to tell him. I just _couldn't_. I'd endured enough, but now I'm getting my _brother_ into the middle of this? God, I a psycho.

"Jess, tell me, please," he pleaded.

I looked at him and gave him a very non-convincing smile.

"He works with me, now," I finally said.

"WHAT!" he exploded.

"Um, well, Krantz has apparently found me a new partner. Isn't that just peachy?" I said, with a little more sarcasm than necessary.

And then pretty much the entire story came spilling out. Ridiculous, right? Well, that's how I get. I refuse to tell people something, but then, in the end, I tell them more than necessary.

I need help.

Or a boyfriend. One that _won't_ CHEAT ON ME.

Whichever comes first.

He sympathized and we talked some more. Then we went back out to the living room. I payed Chan and her boyfriend came to pick her up.

And then Mike played with my kids. They really loved him, especially when they found out he was their uncle.

It was almost perfect.

And then Mike said something that made me both want to throw up and make my heart beat faster - in a good way.

He goes, "God, Jess, they look _so_ much like Rob."

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_** Meg Cabot owns the 1-800-where-r-you characters. 


	10. Miss Telekinesis

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Take a deep breath, Jess.

In...out...in...out...in—

Aw, screw it. Its not working.

I had to go back to work today. I took yesterday off to bond with Mike and my kids. It was probably the best day in my life, actually. Well, since me and _him_ were together - god, its hard to think I ever even _liked _him, let alone _loved _him.

I hate him. I really do, for what he did to me.

And yet...I still love him.

I mean, the way I felt - _feel_ - about him was—

Never mind.

I don't want to bore you with my way-less-than-perfect life.

As soon as I go in the building, I went straight to my office. When I was in there, I started working on a case Krantz had assigned me weeks ago, but I jut pushed it aside. Like my love life.

I was working for about a half hour, when someone knocked on the door.

Oh, god. PLEASE don't let it be him. PLEASE.

"Come in," I called weakly.

They came in. It was only Krantz.

"Jessica, its so nice to see your shining face again," Krantz cooed.

I glared at him. "Cut the crap, Dr. Krantz. What do you want?"

"Well, Jessica, you and Mr. Wilkins have an assignment today. I'd like you two to get along today. Well, _you_, actually, to get along."

That got me angry. It really, really did. "God, you - you have NO idea what its been like for me, do you? You don't UNDERSTAND what I've been going through. You DON'T and its really starting to PISS M—"

I stopped short and looked at him.

"You know what? Its no use trying to get through to you. Fine, I'll do it. But don't blame me if I end up killing him. It won't be my fault."

He laughed. Not a good move on his part.

"Okay, Jessica. But I'm pretty sure Mr. Wilkins can take care of himself."

"Whatever."

"Mr. Wilkins will come by later when you two are to go. Be nice to him, Jessica," he said and then left.

Great.

Juuuust great.

I started working on my other assignment again for a little while. After about twenty minutes, I decided to call Mike.

So, I dialed the number and he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mike," I replied. "How's it going over there?"

"Good. Your kids are great, Jess. Better than my kid acts. You should come home sometime and meet him. He can be cute too," he said and laughed.

"I'll try."

"Good. Okay, I'm sure you have work to do, so I'll talk to you when you get back, okay?"

"Yeah. Alright. See you later, Mike," I said and hung up the phone.

Right then I heard another knock at the door.

Okay, Jess, calm down. Its nothing to be worried about. Its just Rob.

Wow, that was comforting.

"Come in," I called. This time I think I sounded a little stronger.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Rob asked, as he came into my office.

I looked around and then replied, "Um, yeah. I guess."

"Good. Come on," he said and walked out the door.

I grabbed my FBI gear and followed him to the van, I presume.

We both got in the pretty white van - he was driving since I had no idea where the hell we were going. He started the van, pulled out of the parking lot and started going...wherever.

Then he took a think envelope and plopped it on my lap.

"It's the file for the case," he explained.

No, it's my dental records.

Idiot.

I skimmed through it.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," I said, after skimming through the folder/envelope thingy. "We're going to interrogate some little girl and her family because it turns out she has telekinetic abilities?"

"Something like that," he replied.

"Doesn't that seem a little, oh, I dunno..._familiar_ to you?" I asked incredulously.

"Yup," was all he said.

And then we were quiet. I flipped back through the file for good measure. I saw the picture of the girl and noticed that she was really adorable. The file said that she was only five years old.

Bummer.

At least I developed my powers at sixteen, instead of five.

Well, my powers are less exciting than being able to move things with your mind. Now THAT I'd be able to handle. It would cool. No having to get up when you want a drink. No having to search for the remote. You don't even have to use your hands when you eat...

Ah, that must be the life.

Well, it IS a five year old.

Whatever.

"Jess?"

"Hmm?"

He was quiet for a second, so I looked at him. "What?"

"I - look, Jess, about the other day, I'm sorry for making you upset. You just don't understand what I went through to find you and I—"

I cut him off. "Rob, not now, please."

He looked startled. "Uh, okay. Then when? Because, Jess, we really need to talk."

I stared at him. "There's nothing to talk about, Wilkins. The past is behind us, okay? I've forgotten and you should too."

"But, Jess, please. We need to talk about this. Maybe not now, but sooner or later. I just...there are things you need to know. That day at the church...you didn't see everything, Jess. Okay? I didn't even KNOW the gir—"

"Don't start, Rob. Just shut up and drive."

But after we both shut up, I couldn't help but dwell on it. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he was telling the truth. And maybe...just maybe, he still loved me.

Heh, yeah, right. Wishful thinking, Jess. Cut it out.

We stayed silent for a few more moments. Then Rob went, "It's quite a long drive, Mastriani."

I can tell, dumbass.

You know, if he could read minds, that would totally suck. But I think I'm the only one here with the unusual ability.

"Hmm," I replied. I just sat slumped in the passenger seat and looked forward.

You know, its weird. I mean, Rob knowing how to navigate NYC streets when he only just arrived here.

Whatever.

"Mastriani," he said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I murmured.

"Please, can we just talk? I know it's a sore subject for you, b—"

"Gee, how's you figure THAT out? Was it the way I don't want to talk about it or that every time you bring it up, I blow up at you?" I exploded.

"Jess, please, calm down," he soothed - snort. "Just—I think we both need to talk this out. I know you're confused and all with what's been happening lately, and I am too, but pl—"

"You don't know SHIT about me!" I screamed.

Okay, this isn't going so well.

"Jess, PLEASE, just st—"

"What time is it?" I said and glanced at the clock.

"You know what? I have to call my ki—uh, brother," I said, saving myself at the last minute.

I really didn't have to call them, but I'd do anything to keep myself from talking to him.

"Um, okay," he replied.

I fished my cell out of my bag and dialed my home number.

"Hello?"

"Hey," I said into the phone, "how are you?"

"Jess, you don't need to call every five seconds. We're fine."

"Okay, okay. But...I'm just a little stressed out right now." I saw Rob turn his head to look at me. "Do you think you could put one of them on?"

He replied, "Sure. Hold on a minute."

I heard the phone being fumbled and then Autumn came on.

"Mommy!" she screamed.

Okay, hopefully Rob didn't hear that. Because if he did, then he's definitely know I have kids.

"Hey, sweetie." Okay, if he didn't pick it up before, he definitely should now. "How are you?"

"I'm great, Mommy. Uncle Mike is really cool. He showed us all of these cool things on his laptop and he can COOK!" she exclaimed. "Um, you can cook, too, Mommy, but his is really good. Well, yours is good, too, but—"

I laughed, "Okay, baby, I understand. Can you put Aaron on?"

"Uh huh, one sec," she said.

Then Aaron's sweet little voice came on.

"Mom!" he exclaimed into the phone. God, this is getting...awkward. Rob keeps glancing over here. I can see it out of the corner of my eye.

"Hi, honey," I said, "are you having as much fun as Autumn?"

"YES!" he yelled.

"Okay, tone it down a bit, honey, you're hurting Mommy's ears," I said.

Oops. I should't've said that. I really shouldn't have.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"It's okay." I shifted in my seat a little. "So, what else can Uncle Mike do besides cooking and playing video games?" I joked. My sense of humor would probably get lost on my four year old, but whatever.

"Um...well, he's funny," he replied, "and he can do card tricks."

"Really?" I replied. I really didn't know about the card tricks. "That's cool—"

"We're here, Mastriani," Rob said.

I looked at him and nodded.

"Uh, I've gotta go, sweetie. I love you," I said and hung up.

I put my phone away and got out with Rob. He shut his door, as did I, and locked the van.

We were at a Victorian style house. It was very pretty, actually. And very lived in looking, even from the outside.

We walked up the front porch steps and Rob knocked on the door. A few minutes later, someone answered the door. It was a man that looked to be about in his early thirties.

"Oh, come in, please," he said when we showed them our badges.

We walked in after him and he led us to the living room, where he told us to sit and went to get some drinks.

By drinks, I hope he meant, like, water or lemonade or something. I didn't like the thought of him getting us drunk.

Ugh.

The guy's wife and daughter came in a few minutes later. The wife - Karen - was average height, average weight, with curly dark brown hair and stunning green eyes. The daughter, Jennifer - or Jen, as she insisted being called - was a beautiful little girl with her father's hair and eyes - light brown hair and hazel-ish eyes. She had her mother's face, though.

We talked with them for a little while about Jen's abilities and what she has done in the past. As we were discussing things, I couldn't help but notice that Karen was checking Rob out. No, seriously. When Rob wasn't looking, she's eye him up and down. And for some reason, it made me furious.

But...I couldn't be mad. He wasn't mine anymore. He really was never mine in the first place.

"But you don't really understand what we've gone through with this. We've moved quite a lot with this and all and its horrible. People chasing us just to use my daughter for her ability. You just don't UNDERSTAND!" the father - Pete - exclaimed.

I looked at Rob and he gave me that smile. The one that I hadn't seen on him since...well, since we were together.

He turned his attention back to Pete and Karen. "Actually, Mr. Shepherd, we do know what it's like. Well, Agent Mastriani does at least," he said and nodded his head toward me.

The wife looked at me and said, softly, "You do?"

I smiled, despite the fact that she was checking out my ex-boyfriend - god, Jess, SHUT UP!

"Yes, I do. When I was sixteen, I developed a very odd ability. I hated it at the time because of all the attention it attracted. I had the FBI chasing me all the time because they believed I still had the ability, even though I said I didn't. I lied, of course, to get out of it. But things...happened—" I saw Rob flinch beside me. "—and I joined up with the FBI, to help people. It was the right thing to do, after all. It just took me some time to actually see that."

"Wow," Karen said.

I smiled again, and said, "Mmhmm."

"Well, if you don't mind me asking, what, exactly, _is_ your ability? And how did you get it?" the wife asked.

I looked at Rob again. I gave him a what-should-I-do? look.

He just said, "Go ahead."

I rolled my eyes at him. Then I returned my attention back to the people in front of me. "I got struck by lightning when I was sixteen."

"OH!" the wife exclaimed. "Oh, my god. That must have been horrible!"

"Um, well, I guess. I didn't really feel it. I mean, it made me feel all fuzzy and stuff, but it didn't hurt. It just felt...weird, is all."

The wife nodded and asked, "Right. Right. So what is your ability."

I knew even though Rob said I could, that I shouldn't tell.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but that is confidential information. I would tell you if I could. I have already told you more than enough," I reasoned and apologized again.

Then the husband goes, "Wait. You-you're Lightning Girl, aren't you?"

I sighed. "Um, no, you must have me confused with someone else."

"No," he pressed on. "No, you look like her and you got struck by lightning. And you can find missing people, right?"

"Sir, this isn't really necessary. But if it makes you happy, then, yes. I am." Then I glanced down at my watch.

"Oh, my, look at the time, Rob. We should go. Our supervisor would like us back on time," I said - lying, of course - and got up.

I saw Rob give me a weird look out of the corner of my eye.

"Our supervisor will give you a call. Thank you for your time," Rob said and followed me out to the van.

"Jess," Rob said. I stopped in my tracks, turning around to look at him.

"What?"

He walked closer to me to the point where he was about a centimeter away. I was frozen to the spot. I couldn't move.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured. And, before I knew it, he swooped down and captured my lips with his own.

I could lie to you and say it felt gross and disgusting and revolting and vile and all of those other nasty adjectives. And I could say that I didn't kiss him back.

But then, of course, I would be lying.

I DID enjoy it. And I DID kiss him back.

I may have regretted it. Sure. But it felt..._nice_.

Really nice.

But then, after reality sunk in, and I realized what I was doing, I pushed him away. All the warmth that I was feeling suddenly disappeared.

He looked down at me. "Jess—"

I sighed. "Rob, just—don't, okay? I don't know what got into me. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said sternly and hopped in the driver's seat.

I got in the passenger's side, closed the door, and buckled myself up.

"You know, that little girl, Jen, reminds me a LOT of you, Jess," he said, as we were at a red light.

"Really?" I said, trying to act not interested.

"Yes."

And the conversation stopped there.

Then my cell started vibrating in my pocket. "Excuse me," I said to Rob and flipped open my phone.

"Mastriani."

"Jess!" Kara squealed. Oh god...

"Hmm?"

"You're with him, aren't you?" she inquired.

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see them. "Yeah. Wait. What happened with the other day?"

"Oh. Um, well. He's really hot, Jess. And nice and stuff. And, you know, he could've changed since those five years. I mean, GOD, if he spent five years looking for you, Jess...he's gotta at least like you. Maybe even love you..." she trailed off. Oh, god, she can't do this right now... "Just give him a second chance, Jess. Or at least let him explain..."

"Right," I said. God, WHY? "Did Krantz put you up to this?" I accused.

"What? NO. No, of course not. God, I would never do that, Jess. You gotta understand that. I would NEVER do that. Not to you." She sounded sincere enough. And hurt, too.

"Okay, okay..."

"So, you'll give him a second chance?" she asked. She sounded really happy about this.

"I don't—maybe. I'll think about it. Just don't bug me anymore about it, okay?"

"Yes, FINE," she said. "Hey, before I forget. What are you doing tonight?"

Uh oh. "Um, sorry, Kara. I want to spend some time with my brother before he leaves."

"Brother? Ooh. Can I meet him?" she asked.

I laughed. "He's married, Kara."

"Oh." I heard a crash over the phone. "Shit. Sorry, Jess, I gotta go."

"Okay...bye."

"Bye." I hung up and slumped back in the seat. I pulled the lever on the side of the seat, so it would go back. It reclined and I laid back.

"So...you have kids."

Oh, god. I almost forgot he was there for a minute.

I glanced at him.

He looked cute behind the wheel.

Oh GOD. Where did THAT come from?

"Um, yeah. I do."

Oh, god. I hope he doesn't figure out who the father is. Meaning, I hope he doesn't figure out that he is the father of my children.

"So are you...with anyone? Married?" he asked. Oops. Yeah. I could see where he was coming from, considering he just kissed me and all. It was a nice kiss...

Oh, god, SHUT UP.

"Nope. Just me and them."

"Them?"

"Uh, yeah, I had twins." And they are both yours, too.

Ha. Yeah, imagine if I actually said that? I think we'd be in an accident right now.

"Oh. How old are they?" he queried.

"Four," I replied simply.

"Oh."

Then I said, "Uh huh."

Wow, we really can hold up a conversation.

Not.

He turned off the ignition, pulled the keys out, and got out of the van.

God, I didn't even realize we were back.

I got out too, and followed Rob into the building - after I grabbed my stuff, of course.

Rob turned around for a minute. "We have to go give the information the Krantz first, before you can go back to your office."

Then he smirked and turned back around.

Smirked? Why did he smirk?

Oh. He knew I was going to hide away in my office.

Lovely.

So we took the elevator up to the fifth floor, to Krantz's office.

We went in and discussed what went on and everything.

Then Krantz turned to me and asked, "Where are your children, Jessica?"

"My brother is here for a few days and he's watching them," I said.

"Good. Good. Is he well? Your brother, I mean," he questioned.

"Yeah, he's good. He's married; has a kid. You know, the whole shebang."

He nodded his head. "That's great to hear."

"Hmm," I agreed.

He noticed my lack of enthusiasm. "You can leave, Jessica."

THANK YOU, LORD!

I left the office and decided to go to Kara's office.

I knocked on her door. "Come in!" she called.

I did so and when she saw me, she practically jumped on me.

"So, did you think about it?" she pestered.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you said you'd lay off of it?"

"I know, Jess. But the thing is, I talked to him yesterday. I brought you up and...well, he seemed hurt by it and all. I just think maybe the guy deserves a second chance, Jess. Or at least let him explain himself," she said. She sat back down in her chair and looked at me. She gave me that look. The one where it seems that she is absolutely right and you have to do what she says.

I shook my head. "Fine. I'll...I will let him explain, okay? But I'm not jumping into a relationship with him again, Kara," I said defiantly.

"Okay, okay. Just talk to him. Invite him over for dinner or something so you two can talk," she said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't know about you, but in my book, that's called a date."

She laughed. "So? Its about time you got some action, Jess. You're so tense all of the time. Let him loosen you up," she said and laughed again.

"KARA!"

"It's true, though, Jess. You haven't had sex in, what, five years? You definitely need a night of fun. If you want, I'll take your kids off your hands for you," she offered.

I yelled at her. "Kara! I am NOT sleeping with him, okay? I will NOT ever again. I did once and look how I ended up?" I said, spreading my arms out to emphasize my point.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. I have work to do, so I'll see you later," she said, as if dismissing me. "But, Jess, invite him over so you two can talk. You don't have to count it as a date."

I left. But before leaving, I said, "Whatever."

Okay, so everything seems to be pointing to him.

Maybe I should give him a second chance or at least a chance to explain himself.

I'll go for the latter.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me. 


	11. The Locker Room

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Kara kept pestering me for the next few days. You know, about asking Rob over so he could explain. I kept ignoring her for the most part.

"I'll do it when I'm ready, Kara," I kept telling her.

She only replied with a grunt.

Then I asked her where Steph had been for the past few days, because I hadn't seen her anywhere for awhile.

"Oh, she's out sick," Kara said.

Hmm...somehow I don't believe that. I'd just call her myself if she didn't show up the next day.

I dealt with Rob in my own way, since we were now partners. I mean, its not as if I could ignore him anymore, pretending he doesn't exist.

Yeah, that doesn't go over too well when he's usually in the same room with you.

I figured after Mike left I would invite him over. I would tell him everything, from why I left to him being the father of my children. It might not go over too well, but at least I wouldn't have that nagging me anymore. And, of course, he'd tell me his side of the story.

Kara, Rob, and I went out to lunch. I know, I know. Well, I couldn't really back out of it, because I had already told Kara I would go. Little did I know she invited Mr. Wilkins also. I really should have asked beforehand, shouldn't I have?

Well, there is my stupid side for you.

We went to a little place down the road. It wasn't fancy, but it had good food. _Very_ good food.

We ordered our food and ate it, talking sometimes in between. We didn't really talk about anything exciting - just our cases and stuff - and the occasional weird tidbit from Kara.

Then Kara had to go and say, "So, Jess, I hear you're brother is leaving today?"

I looked at her strangely. "Yeah...so?" I said.

When she smirked, I knew what she was getting at. "Kara," I said, in a low, growl-y voice.

Her smirk turned wry. She said, "Well?"

I glared at her. Then I turned to Rob. He was sitting across the table from us. I would have had to sit next to him if Steph were here, but she was still missing...

Hmm. Maybe I could look at a picture of her tonight and see where she was off to. Well, Kara said she was fine, so maybe I should just give her some privacy.

Anyway, I turned to Rob and said sweetly, "Excuse me. We just need to go the ladies' room real quick."

Then Kara was all, "We do?" Which, you know, ruined the whole thing.

I dragged her off to the restroom. As soon as the door was safely secured, I exploded. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU _DOING?_" I yelled.

"Just doing you a favor," she replied, nonchalantly.

"A favor," I repeated, "a FAVOR!"

"Uh huh," she said. Then she turned to the mirror and started reapplying her lipstick.

"A fucking _favor_," I said. "I don't _need_ any favors, Kara. I'll deal with him on my own!" I assured her. However, I wasn't assuring myself much.

"Yes, you do," she said simply. Then she had the nerve to go and say, "You love him, Jess. I can tell. You still love him after all these years. And, I hate to burst your bubble," she said, "but, frankly, he still loves you too."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. "You have NO idea what I went through with that guy," I growled. Then, after realizing what I said, I went, "Okay, maybe you do, but you don't know what it _feels_ like to have your heart completely torn in half, Kara—"

I stopped myself, before I started crying.

Then Kara went, "Oh, Jess, I'm sorry, honey." And that was when I realized it was too late. The tears were coming full on. And, in seconds, I was balling my eyes out.

Lucky for me, this time, I wore water-proof mascara.

Score one for Jess!

Kara handed me some tissues and said, "I'll be right back, sweetie."

Funny how people treat you like a child when you start sobbing hysterically.

Then I realized what she said. "Oh, m-my god, K-kara. Y-you're n-not gonna t-t-tell him are y-you?"

She looked at me like I was crazy - who knows, maybe I am. "What? Why would I do a thing like that?"

Then she turned around and walked out the restroom door. I was left sitting on the restroom floor (ew), alone. Luckily, Kara had gotten a ton of toilet paper and put on the ground for me. Still, though, it was kind of gross.

A few minutes later, she came back in. She had a smile on her face.

"What did you s-say?" I asked.

She just smiled. "I told him you weren't feeling too well."

"Thanks," I said. "Wait. Um, w-what did he say?"

She grinned. "He was so sweet about it. He asked if he could take you back to your apartment so you could rest. And then he wanted to know if he could go out and buy you something." She sighed happily and looked up at the ceiling. She wrinkled her nose at the toilet paper globs that were stick up there. Then she turned her attention back to me. "God, Mastriani, this guy really _cares_ about you. You really ought to give him another chance."

I pondered this a bit. "Maybe," I finally said.

"I'll take that," she said, "seeing as I won't be able to change your mind. Hopefully something - or some_one_ - can knock some sense into you."

I got up off the floor and went to the mirror. God, I looked horrible. "Great," I muttered.

I fixed myself up, with Kara's help, of course. Then we went back to our table.

Rob smiled at me. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"A little," I replied.

Then he said, "Your eyes are a little puffy, were you—?"

"No," I cut him off, "I think I was allergic to something I ate."

"Oh," he said. "Well, we'll just make sure you know what's in your food next time."

I nodded my head in reply.

Soon after that, we left.

As we were coming in the building, we - or, rather, I - bumped in the Steph. "Steph!" I exclaimed, "where have you been?"

She looked at us awkwardly. Then she said, "Erm, sick. Yeah, I've been sick." Then she fake-sneezed to try and prove her point. Ha, nice try, Steph.

"Huh," I said, "well, okay, feel better!"

She smiled. "Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll try." Hmm, I bet.

Kara walked away with Steph somewhere. They were talking in hushed voices. Not to mention, they left me all alone. With Rob.

"Hmm," Rob said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, I guess. "Strange friends you've got there."

"Heh, yeah, I know," I agreed. "But they really are the best friends someone could have."

And that's where the conversation ended. God, we cannot seem to hold up a conversation. Whatever. Maybe its better off we don't talk much.

We went our separate ways after we got off the elevator. I mean, we were partners, but for some reason, we got assigned different projects. I mean, when we had to go out, it was okay, but inside the building, it was totally different.

I had nothing planned for today, so I headed over to the pool that was by the gym. YEAH, my work place had its own pool, gym, shooting range, wrestling room, AND daycare - that one was courtesy of me. Speaking of day care, I should go visit my kids after I go for a swim. God, I haven't been in a few weeks.

I was clad in a bikini, since my old bathing suit was destroyed from the chlorine. Note to self: get a new one-piece.

I changed in the locker rooms - for some odd reason, they were co-ed - GOD, imagine seeing ROB in there? You know, one of these days, I probably will. Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing me in my altogether. And, as much as I may seem to despise him, I wouldn't mind seeing him in the nude either. Despite the fact that I already have.

As I walked out, one of my co-workers whistled at me. I playfully punched him in the arm - or, I thought it was playful. He went, "OW!" Apparently, I punched harder than I thought.

"You look good, Mastriani. Haven't seen you around here in a while," he said.

"Yeah, I've had a lot on my mind lately. So, you goin' for a swim?" I asked, pointing to the pool.

"Yeah, actually, I am. Didn't see you in the locker room, though. What, were you using your powers to turn invisible?" he joked.

"NO!" I protested. Then I said, "You wanna race, Reynolds?"

He grinned. "Sure."

We raced. I beat his ass.

Ugh. That sounds kinky. Eww...

"Good race, Mastriani," he said, when we got out of the pool.

I replied with an "uh huh" that wasn't very attractive. But, uh, I wasn't really looking to attract Dean Reynolds.

We sat down on the chairs nearby and talked for a bit. That was when he leaned over and kissed me. Um, this was...weird.

Of course I didn't kiss him back. I mean, he was a good guy and everything, but I just wasn't attracted to him.

So, I pushed him away. "Dean, please, I'm not interested in you, okay? I keep telling you that."

"Then who _are_ you interested in, Jess? Almost every single guy in this _fucking_ building has asked you out and you turned down every last one of them," he informed me. Yeah, I knew that Reynolds.

"Look, Reynolds, I've had my share of heartbreaks, okay? I'm just not capable of giving it away again. Now, please, I have to go see my kids," I said. I got up and wrapped the towel around me, so Mr. I-think-I-can-woo-you can't really check me out.

I really need to get that new bathing suit.

I left the pool area, went to change in the locker room. I changed, noticing that there were a couple guys in there staring at me - while I changed. They were staring at my boobs as I took my top off. I noticed Dean was there, too. Of course he was staring too.

As I walked past them, to the showers, I said, "Take a picture, guys, it lasts longer."

I felt like a slut showering naked in front of a bunch of guys, but whatever. It wasn't like I was going to shower in my bathing suit.

After I finished the shower, I went to go grab my towel. That was when I noticed practically every guy staring at me. Including Mr. Wilkins, who had just walked in. I quickly wrapped my towel around me.

As I walked back to my bag, I said, loudly enough for everyone to hear, "You know, you don't usually win a woman's heart by watching her shower."

Then I got dressed, noticing that all the guys were watching me get dressed, except one of the gay guys - he was enjoying how most of the guys' towels were falling off when watching me.

After I finished getting dressed, I put my bag away in my locker. I walked towards the door stopping near Rob. I put one of my hands to his chest, and said, "Its good to know you still enjoy my naked body, Wilkins."

This earned me a shocked expression from Rob. Finally, I left, feeling happy. I mean, it feels good to know that guys like to stare at you while you change. Especially some of the hot guys that worked here.

I went to the elevator and pressed the floor number for the day care center. I got there quicky.

When I first walked in, I noticed there were a few other moms there. Some of them I recognized, while others I did not.

I walked over to my kids, who were playing very nicely with a little boy about their age. I sat down with them and started playing cards with them for a bit. They were playing Old Maid - a classic childhood card game.

At the end of the game - with me getting the Old Maid - one of my co-workers, Emily Lees, came over. "Hey, Mastriani, what're you doing up here?" she asked.

"Playing with my kids," I replied nonchalantly.

"Wait, these little sweethearts are _yours_?" she asked incredulously. What, I can't have adorable, sweet children? Is that really a crime?

"Erm, yeah," I replied awkwardly.

"Really? Well, they are so _cute_!" she said. "Have you met Jonathan? He's my little angel. And here is my little devil right here," she said, holding up her toddler.

I laughed. It really was funny. "I didn't know you had kids, Jess. I mean, I know this was made for you, but I didn't exactly know why..."

Yeah, Lees isn't exactly known for her intelligence or her tact. But she is one hell of an interrogator. She can get answers - correct ones - out of anybody.

Emily and I talked for a little bit. I got to hold her toddler, Melissa. She was unbelievably adorable, but I noticed she like shiny things - like a raccoon.

I looked at the clock - it said 3:26. Wow, I'd been here for over an hour! Then I said I had to get back to work. I hugged and kissed my kids and told them I'd come back later when it was time to go home. Em did the same and we walked back towards my office together.

"You and I should do something sometime," Emily said. "You know, hang out or something."

I smiled at her. "Yeah, that would be awesome, Lees. Whenever you're free, call me. I should be available, seeing as I have no life outside the FBI."

She giggled at that. "Alright, well, I'll see you later, Mastriani."

I went in my office. I went on my laptop, did some research for this new project I had. About some alien thing - as if there aren't enough already.

I looked at the clock and noticed I had a good hour of work left.

I thought back to the locker room and giggled to myself. That was pretty funny if you think about it. Maybe I should parade around the locker room naked more often. I mean, if I attract the attention of hot guys, its cool. Even if I sorta feel skanky doing it.

Eh, whatever. Its work.

But, as I thought about it, I remembered that Rob was staring at me too. Maybe I should pop in his office or something. You know, say hello.

I did so without thinking.

I went to his office and knocked first - common courtesy. He said to come in and I did.

When he saw it was me, he was all, "Oh!"

I laughed a little and he turned an adorable shade of pink.

Did I just say adorable? God help me...

"What're you doing here?" he asked.

I replied, "Glad to know you appreciate my presence. And I just came by because I was bored as hell."

"Hmm," he said. "Look about the locker room..."

I started laughing. "Don't worry, Rob. I don't care that you were staring at me. And I really don't understand why they made the locker room co-ed."

He chuckled a little too. "Do you usually parade around the locker room naked?" he asked, like he was really interested.

"Um, no, not really. I mean, there just happened to be a lot of guys in there when I went today. And I actually haven't been down there in a few weeks," I informed him. I looked at him and he had this weird look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied.

"No, really, Rob. What is it?" I asked. I really was interested in what he had to say and all.

"Its not a big deal. Its just, you don't mind walking around like that?" he asked.

I looked at him strangely, before replying, "Why should I? Its not like I'd ever go out with any of them. I mean, tons of them have asked, but I've always turned them down. I mean, today, for instance, one of the guys tried kissing me—"

I stopped myself. Uh, he didn't need to know that.

"What?" he asked. "Go on."

"Um, you know what? Nevermind."

"Jess..." he said, "just finish what you were saying."

"Why?" I asked, like a little kid.

He gave me that look that he used to give me when we were younger, when we—

"Fine," I said. "I just never have gone out with anyone here."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Um, I dunno. I've just been waiting for someone who'll be good to me. Not just someone who finds me attractive."

"Oh," he said. The look in his eyes gave it all away. I think—I think he finally gave up. I mean, what I just said, I guess, was horrible to him. I mean, its not like I cared or anything.

But I did care. I really did. So that's why I did what I did next.

"Rob?" He looked up from the carpet.

"Hmm?"

"Listen, you've been here for quite some time already, and we can't keep on avoiding the subject. So, um, would you like to come over tonight?" I asked. I just wanted to get the asking part done with. "I know we need to talk some things out and stuff."

"Really?" he asked, his hope rising again.

"Really."

"Great," he said.

His enthusiasm kind of made me smile a little. "Awesome," I said, "come over around, uh, eight, I guess. Yeah, eight's good."

He grinned. I guess I said what he wanted. Well, not 'I want you back Robbie' but good enough.

"Oh," I added, "just be warned. I'm ordering take out because I'm not the world's best cook."

He chuckled and said, "Take out sounds good."

And I left his office feeling happy for some odd reason. It was like, I made him happy, which, consequentially, made me happy.

Um, things are starting to get weird around here.

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me. 


	12. Old Feelings Die Hard

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I felt nervous as hell preparing everything.

Right when I got home, I started cleaning up the place. You know, making sure no stray bras, panties, tampons, etc. were lying around. I left the kids' room alone. Its not like we were gonna go in there anyway.

I really don't know why I felt nervous. I mean, I claimed to hate this guy, right? So, why should I feel all jittery even _before_ he gets here? This is seriously some twisted shit.

I took a shower after I was done cleaning. It was a nice, long, hot one. It relaxed me a bit, too. But when I got out, insecurity and nervousness washed over me again.

I got dressed, which took quite a while. I couldn't decided what to wear. What I really wanted to wear was my pajamas, butI didn't think that was entirely appropriate. And then I wondered if I should wear a skirt.

A skirt in my own home?

Yeah, so I ended up just settling for a pair of worn-in jeans - I kept them after all these years - a slightly revealing black tank top, and a pair of tan Ugg boots. Then I did my make up and hair and I was good to go.

Yet, I still had to order the food. Maybe I'd just wait until he got here, so he could order what he wanted, even if I _did_ know what he wanted.

Jess, his taste buds could've changed since you knew him.

I set some candles up and lit them (the scent was French Vanilla and it smelled soo good).

Wait, um.

They were SO not for a sexual affect.

It was more of the feng-shui thing-a-ma-bobber.

I swear!

Then I turned the news on, plopped on my couch, and waited.

You know, before I left his office at work, I almost forgot to tell him where I lived. I did so, with a sheepish grin and a blush. He just chuckled and assured me he'd be over at eight.

I made sure Autumn and Aaron were in bed. Well, they were watching TV or something since they weren't tired. I can understand. I mean, it _is_ only eight o' clock. They usually go to bed around eleven, when I do.

Hey, I never said I was the best mother on the planet.

They protested, but when I told them I had ice cream in the freezer, they shut up and went to make their own cones. I also got them sprinkles, hot fudge, caramel, and other things to put on the top. They were pretty grateful for it and decided that they'd let me be. Joy.

It was in the middle of some report on a missing girl - great, I'll be waking up tomorrow with the location of her (as you can see, I still have the same attitude toward my 'gift' that I had when I was sixteen) - when there was knock at the door.

I looked at the clock on the wall. 8:06 PM.

I went to the door and let him in.

"You're late," I said with a grin.

That was when I noticed a bouquet of flowers in his hand. I gasped, loudly.

He said, to my previous remark, "Sorry. Traffic." Then he went, "Do you have a vase?"

I looked at him, still in shock that he got me FLOWERS. I nodded and went off to look for one.

A minute later, I returned, armed with a crystal vase.

"Perfect," he said.

He stuck them in there, went to the sink in the kitchen, filled the vase up, and put it back on my kitchen table.

Finally, I asked, "Why on earth did you get me flowers?"

"You don't like them?" he wanted to know.

"What? No, I like them. In fact, I love them," I assured him. "But why did you get them for ME?" I asked, so he would get it this time.

"Oh," he said, "well, I felt the need to get you something. Is that such a crime?"

The way he said it made me go, "Are you _bribing_ me?"

He gave me his trademark half-disgusted half-amused smile. "If it works, then, sure," he replied nonchalantly.

That smile stirred something around in me.

I...I didn't get it. Why, all of a sudden, was I being so nice to him? I thought I hated this guy. Its just...he's being so _nice_ to me and, well, all I was being to him was a class A bitch. But...this was the guy that cheated on me. I think.

Now I'm not so sure about that.

I playfully punched him in the arm. I laughed inwardly when I saw him wince. "You're gonna have to do more than bribing, Wilkins."

"I know," he replied. His face was solemn. There was no trace of humor anywhere.

"Um, Rob," I tittered nervously, at the look on his face, "tell me what you want and I'll order it."

Before he told me what he wanted, he said, "Are you on the menu?" Part of his humor was back, but part of him was still being serious, I could tell.

"Rob," I said, in a warning voice.

"Okay," he said, throwing his hands up in defeat. "General Tao's Chicken," he said.

Hm. Same as always.

I smiled to myself at that little revelation. It _was_ a little reassuring for some odd, twisted reason.

I ordered for both of us. Then I led him to the living room. I sat down on the couch facing the window, while Rob took a seat on the one opposite me. Thank god.

"So," I said, conversationally, "you wanna start first?"

He gave me a half smile. "Sure." Then he leaned back on the couch and knitted his hands together. A sure sign of nervousness.

"Okay, what do you want to hear first?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter."

"Okay," he replied. "I guess I'll start with an apology." He sat there for a few seconds, then he said, "I'm sorry about the way things turned out, Jess. I'm sorry about everything. If I had known things would've turned out this way, I would've...I don't know what I would have done."

He stopped to look at me. Then he took a deep breath and started again. "Look, I know what you thought you saw years ago, at the church. And you may not believe it, but I didn't kiss that girl. I mean, I didn't even _know_ her, for God's sake. She just came on to me and kissed me, right at the moment that you happened to come back upstairs.

"Jess, I swear I didn't kiss her. I don't know what will make you believe me, but I would never do that to you. I would never have cheated on you." He took another deep breath and continued. "That night a few weeks before that happened, I told you I loved you. And I meant it. I wasn't just saying it to get you in bed, Jess. I really, really meant it.

"And now, I'll say it again," he said. He looked me dead in the eye and said, to my utter astonishment, "I love you, Jess. I always have and I always will. I don't expect you to feel the same way anymore, but I at least hope you would believe me when I say that I didn't - and never would - cheat on you."

He was done with his speech. He was waiting for me to say something.

But I couldn't say anything. I was completely and utterly shocked.

He just told me he loved me.

Maybe it's a joke...?

But...but why would he joke about this? And after five years of searching for me?

Could this really be true? Could he really love me?

And he says he didn't kiss her. He says she kissed him. Hey, I would peg that bitch to do something like that, but...I dunno.

Its kind of hard to believe something like that...especially since I loved the guy more than anything in the world.

But did I love him _now_? I know I was feeling something for him. Something I normally would never feel for someone who has a penis. But I don't know if it was exactly love.

He was waiting for some sort of reply to it. And, me being the idiotic person I am, I went and said, "You love me?"

"Yes," was all he said.

"I don't...I don't know what to say, Rob. Its all just too sudden and everything." I saw him run his hand through his hair. He was nervous again. I played with my hands in my lap. "I don't know if I can believe you. I'm sorry."

He had a broken look across his face. "No. No, its all right. I understand." But I knew it wasn't all right. I knew he was heart broken and hopeless.

As was I.

Then he said something that stopped my heart completely. "Don't dwell in the past, they always say."

Then the doorbell rang.

Oh, Chinese food.

I think I may have lost my appetite.

I answered the door, gave the man a twenty, letting him keep the change, and sat back down with the food. I put the bag on the coffee table. Then I went back to the kitchen to get some forks and plates. And some glasses and soda. I came back into the living room with my arms full.

Rob was still sitting there with the same crestfallen expression.

We ate our food in silence. I wasn't really hungry anymore, but I still ate it. Well, some of it. I put the leftovers in the fridge.

When I came back from the kitchen, I saw Autumn sitting on the couch next to Rob. He was talking to her. I was curious as to why she was out of bed.

"Autumn?" I said, "honey, what're you doing out here? I thought you went to bed."

She saw by my expression that I wasn't really happy at the moment. Then she said, "I'm not tired. And Aaron won't let me watch TV." She pouted and folded her arms across her chest.

I sighed. "Go watch TV in my room then," I told her. "And when you're done, try and go to sleep, sweetie."

She got up and as she walked by me, I ruffled her hair. Then she turned back around and said, "Good night. It was nice meeting you."

Rob smiled and said, "You too."

A thought crossed my mind that was really weird. Rob would probably make a good father. That's what I thought. Boy, if only I had let him explain years ago, and I had believed him, he would probably be my husband right now and an excellent father.

"She's cute," he said.

I smiled and replied, "Yeah. Yeah, she is."

"Look, Rob," I said. He was paying full attention to me by the tone of my voice. "While we're on the subject of my kid - _kids_ - I mine as well explain."

"Okay," he said simply. I saw that he relaxed himself a bit, after being tense for a few minutes.

"Right," I said. I tried to relax myself, too, but, uh, what I was about to tell him was very big. Very big indeed. "What I'm about to tell you will probably be a shock to you, so be prepared." I saw him nod and inch forward on the couch a bit, as if straining to listen.

"Rob, you—" Oh, god, this is harder than I though. "Rob," I started again. Better just get this over with. "You are their father."

Just as I thought. He had shock written all over his face.

"Excuse me?" he said, after he composed himself a little.

"Rob, you are the father of my children," I said in a serious tone.

Again, he looked shocked, but he seemed to get over it in a few seconds. "You're serious," he said, his face dead pan.

"Yup."

"Oh, my god," he muttered.

I guess he seemed to be in denial because he said, "No. No, you must be mistaken, Jess. I - I can't be. Its not possible." He was looking down at his hands, as if willing them to get him out of this somehow.

"Oh?" I said cruelly. "Its not possible, eh?" Then I stood up and looked at him firmly. "It sure as hell is possible if you're the only man that I've ever had sex with."

His eyes widened twice as much than when I told him he was the father. "You - you're kidding, right?" he asked in disbelief.

"No. I most certainly am not joking, Rob," I said in a curt voice. I think now he pretty much understood what this meant.

He finally was able to speak and said, as I sat down, "Look, Jess, I don't know how this happened—"

"Really?" I laughed. "I'm pretty sure I do."

He gave me a stony look. "You know what I mean."

"Of course," I replied aloofly.

He ran his hand through his think hair. "What do you want me to do, Jess? I mean, you tell me five years after it happened and I just...I don't know what you want from me."

"Don't tell me," I said angrily, "that you would have liked the idea of raising two kids. Especially since we'd have to tell my parents and everything, too."

"Okay, fine. That would have been hell," he admitted. "But it still doesn't change the fact that I spent five years of my life looking for the woman that—"

He stopped himself and looked at me, not showing any emotion at all.

"The woman that what, Rob?" I asked. I was losing my patience here. And I was getting really tired.

"Nothing. Never mind," he said, trying to dismiss the subject.

"Whatever," I said.

God, I am such a bitch.

No, seriously. I mean, this guy gives me flowers, tells me that he didn't cheat on me, and says he frickin' LOVES me. And what do I do? I act like a bitch.

It's a wonder why he loves me, though.

"Look, I'm sorry, Rob," I apologized, "but this is all happening so fast and everything. And I just don't know what to _do_." I crossed me legs and sat up a bit. "You say you didn't cheat on me and that you love me. I just...I don't know what to do," I said softly, my voice cracking.

The tears were coming. For the second time today. Lovely.

"I _did_ love you. I really did. But its been _five_ _years_, okay? Five years. You can't just expect me to jump in your arms and scream 'I love you' at the top of my lungs. Just...give me some time. Please." Some tears leaked out of my eyes. Rob saw and looked at me all solemnly.

"I think I should go," he said. He got up to leave.

I got up and followed him, wiping my tears away. "Good idea," I croaked out.

And just like that, he left.

And I couldn't help but feel like I crushed him. The guy loved me and I just pushed him away. But...my heart wasn't ready yet. It wasn't ready to take him back into my life. It just wasn't.

I lied to him.

I told him that I loved him. But I was wrong in saying that.

I _still_ love him. Yet...I'm scared. Scared that the same thing, like what happened five years ago, will happen again.

And then...then I remembered how he kissed me the other day. He kissed me with such love and passion and _abandon_ that it was unbearable.

Oh, my god. He really _did_ love me!

I mean, he said so. But you can't really trust words, can you?

But you can trust feelings. And now I know he truly cares for and loves me. Now I just have to will myself to believe him about the incident.

Oh god. Why does this have to happen to me?

I dragged myself to my room. Autumn had already gone back and fell asleep. I plopped myself on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Before I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but think: Tomorrow is gonna be hell.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me.


	13. The Rapist Returns

****

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I walked with my kids the next morning through the doors of the FBI building. We went up to the fifth floor, to the Day Care Center. I dropped them off, saying I'd be by later to play Old Maid again.

As I was walking to my office, my cell phone started vibrating. I flipped it open. "Mastriani," I said into it.

"Jessica, I would like you in the conference room in ten minutes. There is some very important news," Krantz said and hung up.

Don't I ever get a hello?

The conference room was on the ninth floor, so I had to go on the elevator. Luckily, there were coffee machine office thingies on every floor.

I went to the elevator and got in.

Great, Reynolds was in there.

"Mastriani," he said.

"Reynolds," I said back and nodded my head.

"So," he said, trying to start a conversation, "you and that new guy used to be together?"

Ugh. Great. I knew I shouldn't've said that to Rob in the locker room.

"Um, yeah," I said.

"Oh." He scratched his head - that was balding, might I add. "The whole time you've been here, you've never gone out with anyone, am I correct?"

"Yes, you are," I said.

Arg. He was aggravating me.

"Okay. So, you must've gone out with him in...high school?" he inquired.

"Yes, Dean," I said impatiently.

"Alright." Then a smirk grew on his annoying features. "He wouldn't happen to be the father of your twins, would he?"

I sputtered. If I had coffee with me at the time, I'm sure it would be all over me.

"That is none of your business," I said angrily.

"So, I am right," he said knowingly. His smirk turned wry.

When I didn't respond, he said, "I'm sure he would just love if someone happened to slip it to him, don't ya think?"

"What're you getting at, Dean?" I asked. I knew he was trying to get something out of me.

"Well, if you go out with me tonight, I won't spill the beans," he said. Then he put his hand out. "Deal?"

I smiled with bitterness. "No. No deal."

"Fine. Then I'll tell him," he said.

You know, you would've thought this elevator would frigging take a lot quicker. Its only four damn floors.

Then I realized that Dean had jammed it and it wasn't even going anywhere. Why hadn't I noticed that before?

God, I'm an idiot.

"You know, Dean, he already knows. In fact, I told him last night. You can even go ask him," I said confidently. "And, if you think black-mailing me to go out with you - and jamming the elevator - are good techniques to get in a woman's pants, then you will never get any, Reynolds," I retorted angrily.

Someone finally fixed the elevator and we got out. On the way out, Dean had the nerve to go and squeeze my ass.

I turned around and said, "Don't you EVER do that again. You hear me? I'll beat your ass into the ground so far, that you'll have to look up to look down." Wow, that made no sense.

Then I walked away quickly and into the conference room. "Jessica, you're late," Krantz said, as I entered.

I looked around the room and noticed Kara, Steph, Krantz, Emily, ROB, and a bunch of other people were there. What the hell is going on.

Then Reynolds walked in behind me. "Sorry I'm late, boss." And he took a seat next to Steph, who looked repulsed.

"Sorry, Dr. K," I muttered, and sat in the only available seat, right next to Rob. And right across from Dean. Lovely.

"It's all right, Jessica," he said. Then he began with some speech. I only started listening when he said, "The rapist, which we recently put in jail, has escaped."

"WHAT?" I exploded.

"He's escaped, Jessica," Krantz repeated.

"But...how?"

"We don't know yet," he said. "But that's what we're going to find out - and his whereabouts."

Then I kind of tuned out again. Well, that is, until I felt something brush up against my leg. I ignored it at first, because I figured it was accidental, but then it happened again. And again. Then I realized: Oh, shit; Dean is trying to play footsie with me.

I looked down - seeing that Dean smirked as I did so - and found the location of his other foot. Hoping that he didn't move it when I looked back up at him, I stomped as hard as I could on it with the leg that he wasn't currently molesting.

That stopped him pretty quickly. He let out a yelp and everyone looked at him.

While Krantz was all, "Are you all right, Reynolds?" Rob whispered in my ear, "What did you do?"

It hurt that he immediately suspected it was _me_. But, nonetheless, I whispered back, "He was rubbing his foot against my leg, so I stomped on his other foot."

"Oh," he replied.

Reynolds claimed he was all right. And that he accidentally rolled over his own foot with his chair.

Yeah, right.

"Jessica?"

I shook my head and looked up. I guess I was lost in my thoughts. "Hmm?"

He looked at me weirdly, then he said, "You and Mr. Wilkins will be the head of this project, seeing as you have the certain ability to, erm, find people. And, of course, Robert—" I laughed to myself at that. Robert. Haha. "—will be with you, because he is your partner."

"Of course," I replied.

"Good," he said. "Now, I expect, if you should find anything, that you will come to me." He was doing the same thing he did when I sixteen. He _knew_ that I would probably run off and try to figure the case out myself.

"Of course," I said again.

"Excellent," he said. Then he stood up. "You are all dismissed," he said with a wave of his hand.

People started filing out the door. Reynolds, Rob, and I were the last people in there.

Then Rob looked at me, smiled, and left. Great, he left me alone with the asshole.

Little did I know, he was waiting outside the conference room. He would hear everything.

I gathered up my stuff to leave, so I wouldn't have to put up with Dean's shit.

As I was shoving everything into my briefcase, Reynolds came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

I immediately got pissed off. "Get off me," I seethed.

"Woah, Mastriani," he said. But he left his grimy hand there.

So, me being me, I took his hand and sharply spun him around, bending his arm the wrong way in the process. He groaned. "FINE!" He tried squirming but I held him firmly, "Let me go!"

I did so and said, "If you EVER touch me again, I will break that arm off. Then I turned around and, grabbed my briefcase, and punched his ugly ass face in. And left him there.

Imagine my surprise when Rob was standing right outside. Pretending to have not heard anything.

"Heard everything, didn't you?" I accused.

"No," he replied nonchalantly, but I saw through the facade.

"Right," I said.

"Okay, fine," he said, "I did hear everything. But its good to know you can take care of yourself."

"Hmm," I agreed.

I was heading to the elevator to go see my kids. Rob was heading that way, too. The elevator, I mean, not to see my kids; at least, I think not to see my kids.

Then I, you know, had an epiphany. "Hey," I said, "you wanna come with me? To see my kids, I mean." Then I added, "and yours too, I guess."

He shrugged and said, "Sure."

"Awesome," I said.

So, we both got in the elevator, and went to see my kids. My kids had fun meeting him. Rob was taking it well - playing with his children who didn't know he was their father. They asked him all sorts of questions. Among them were, "Are you and Mommy dating?" Which Rob thought was hilarious.

We went our separate ways after that. I went back to my office to get working on this case. I checked my e-mail when I got on my laptop. Imagine my surprise when I got an e-mail from the rapist.

**Dear Lightning Girl,**

**You probably know now that I have escaped.**

**I have your little babysitter here, too. If you want to see her again, unharmed and still a virgin, I expect to see you here tonight, ****without**_** any of your little Fed friends.** _

**You know where I am.**

**Signed,**

**Your Special Friend.**

Oh, shit.

Chandler.

Chandler's in trouble and all 'cause of ME. She could get raped. And killed.

You know where I am.

What is that supposed to mean? How would I know where he is?

Oh, right. The psychic powers. Lovely.

I have to tell Rob. He might freak, but he should know.

So, I called him on my cell, because I wasn't sure if he was in his office or not.

I told him to get his ass in my office as quick as possible, which, it turns out, was only, like, two minutes.

"Wow, that was fast," I commented.

"Hmm," he said. "What did you find?"

I showed him the e-mail and he said, "So, you're going then?"

I gave him a strange look. "Uh, yeah. He has an innocent sixteen year old girl. What the hell else am I supposed to do?"

He shrugged. "I'm going with you."

Okay, I totally didn't expect that. "No, you aren't, Rob. Didn't you read it? I have to go alone."

"I don't care," he said, "he'll never know I was there." When I didn't respond, he said, "Speaking of there, where is there?"

"I have no clue. And he didn't even say what time, either. This is just awesome," I said. I put my head in my hands and groaned. "My life is just a bowl of cherries, ain't it?" I asked sarcastically.

"Hmm," he agreed. "Well, Jess, you do what you do best. Find his location." Then he started rubbing my back. I guess to soothe me a bit. Boy did it work.

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me. 


	14. Naivity

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

And I did. Find his location, I mean. And the time.

It was really weird.

After Rob departed for his office, swearing to me that he wouldn't tell Krantz, I went down to the pool to do a few laps. Well, I changed and all, too, making sure that there weren't too many men in there. I didn't want the same thing as last time to happen.

Whoever decided to make the locker rooms co-ed is really messed up. Yeah, we work together and all, but what about the self-conscious people? Well, I suppose they could always change in their office and then go down to the pool, but that's pushing it, you know? I really should talk to Dr. Krantz about that. After all, he DID make a Day Care center in light of my children.

I did my few laps, which amounted to ten. Then, as I was getting out of the pool, I slipped and fell, bumping my head in the process. To put it lightly, I conked my self out.

- § -

I was walking down the road, with my boyfriend (A/N: Remember, she dreams in the missing person's point of view). _Then, out of nowhere, this really creepy guy comes. He says to us, "It's a little late for two children to be walking around in the middle of a city, don't you think?" _

(A/N: Remember, she dreams in the missing person's point of view). 

_Now that kind of freaked me out. His sinister sneer and all. Jack, my boyfriend, said, "Hey, buddy, leave us alone. We were just heading to my car." The way the guy grinned even more made me really anxious to get out of here._

_Then the guy pulled out a gun. He said, "Follow me and nobody gets hurt." Jack looked at me with worry all over his face . . . and fear._

_I looked at him, wondering if we should follow him or make a run for it. My eyes were wide and I could tell I probably looked pitiful._

_Then Jack gave me the gesture. The one where he rubs his nose slightly, like he has to sneeze, only he doesn't. That's when I knew he had a plan._

_He whispered something in my ear, "I'll distract him, you run."_

_The guy heard him whispering and said, "No talking," and turned back around. Then, a second later, he said, "Maybe I should separate the two of you..." And he proceeded to do so._

_That's when I recognized him. He was the guy from the wanted posters. He was the rapist that had escaped. But...what did he want from me? When he could have prettier, sexier women? It really didn't make sense. While I did realize I was a girl, possessed a set of boobs, and had a uterus, I just didn't see what he wanted with me, the average girl. Like I said, there are so many other really beautiful women. Why not go and get them?_

_That's wrong. Wishing something like that on someone else. I should know better._

_We were still walking. The guy had put me next to him, his arm on my shoulder. Eww._

_Then I heard Jack say, "Now!"_

_And he jumped on the guy, wrestling him to the ground, fully aware he had a gun that was loaded. _

_I ran. _

_I ran as fast as I could. I was so close to getting to a nearby restaurant, but somebody had grabbed me. I knew it wasn't the rapist. When someone had grabbed me, probably one of the rapists sidekicks, I saw that Jack was still wrestling with him. Then I saw, right in front of my eyes, the guy I love being shot._

_The rapist had shaken Jack off of him and took that opportunity to lift his gun and shoot him. He got Jack right in the shoulder. Jack, seeming to barely feel it, went back and jumped on the guy. Then evil man pointed his gun and shot his left thigh. Jack staggered back and fell to the ground._

_I so badly wanted to go over there and help him, but I couldn't. Mr. Sidekick was holding me back and steering me into an alleyway. Instead, I screamed, "Jack!"_

_He looked at me and said, "Chan! No!" In his eyes, I saw fear. Major, major fear. But . . . not for himself, but for me. He was afraid of what would happen to me. And that's when I knew. _

_. . . I was up shit's creek without a paddle._

_That was the last I saw of him. I was pulled into an alleyway. Mr. Rapist hadn't shown up yet. He...my GOD, if he killed Jack, I would make sure that, if it was the last thing I do, I would kill him. Seriously KILL him, hoping he'd go to hell..._

_When the sidekick, who told me his name was Harry - obviously a fake name in case I escaped - said, "Well, aren't you perdy," I literally lost it. Forgetting that I could be the rapist's next victim and be killed. I kicked and screamed and thrashed about. _

_Then the rapist came into view. "Your little boyfriend's been taken care of. Now its your turn."_

_When he saw the fear in my eyes, which had widen considerably, he said, "I'm only jokin'...for now. See, missy, if your little friend doesn't show up by midnight, you won't be a virgin no longer." He snickered. "Or alive."_

_I didn't think about his threat that he would rape and kill me. I could only think about this 'friend' that was supposed to show._

_"F-friend?" I stuttered out._

_"Oh, yes. Friend. The woman you babysit for? Lightning Girl?" he explained._

_I gasped. "What do you want with her?"_

_"She put me in jail in the first place. AND she put many of my friends in the big house. Basically, revenge. And maybe I could get some fun out of it, if you know what I mean," he said with a twinkle in his eye._

_And I did know what he meant. "You SICKO!" I screamed._

_"All done in a day's work," he simply said._

_Then he knocked me out._

- § -

I woke up with a start, to find out I was in Rob's office. When he saw I was awake, he came right over.

"Jess," he whispered, figuring - and he was correct - that I would have a horrible headache and yelling would only make it worse. "You alright?"

I looked at him like he was nuts. "No," I croaked out. My head hurt like hell. I went to sit up, instantly regretting it. My head started pounding more.

"Lay back down," Rob advised me, helping me lay back down.

"Unngh," I mumbled.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked. "I just found you like that by the pool. What happened?"

"Um, I slipped and fell," I said, as embarrassing as it sounds.

"Oh," he said. I guess he thought someone had knocked me out or something.

Then I remembered the dream. "Rob!" I said really loudly. He jumped at the tone I used. Normally, I would have laughed, but this is serious.

"Yeah?" he said.

"What time is it?" I asked. Please don't be midnight...

"Why?" he asked skeptically.

"BECAUSE," I yelled. I didn't mean to. I was just frustrated and kind of scared.

"Okay," he said, glancing at the wall clock, "10:37."

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"Umm," he said, "well, I found you at five, so five and a half hours."

Then I remembered my kids. "Wait, what about my kids!"

"Oh, they're in Krantz's office. Annoying the hell out of him."

Considering the circumstances, I still managed to suppress a laugh. "I know where she is, Rob."

He looked at me, his fog-colored eyes penetrating my brown ones. "And the time?" he asked, just to make sure.

"Yep," I said, not taking my eyes off of his.

"Alright," he said. "Shall we?" He gestured toward the door.

"Sure," I said.

We told Dr. Krantz that we were going out to the movies. He asked if I was well enough to do that and all I said was, "Dr. K, I've done the knocked out thing before." He looked at me skeptically, but then said, "Be back by 2, please. I don't feel like babysitting all night."

Then we went out the door and toward the alleyway. The one where they were holding an unconscious Chandler. And we had to find her boyfriend, too. From what I remember, she was thinking that she loved him...

Well, if she lost him, she would be devastated.

I'd send Rob to find him. But knowing him, he'd probably go after me.

Great.

Ten minutes later we arrived. I was staring at the corner - the one that led into the alley.

The rapist wanted vengeance. He wanted to rape and kill me, not Chandler, but if I didn't show, he'd do it to her. I couldn't let that happen. Chandler was actually like a sister to me. I cared so much for her and I couldn't let _anything_ happen to her.

I turned to Rob. We were standing a block from the alley. "Rob, you find a way on top of the building near the alley. I have to go in by myself."

He was about to protest but I said, "Rob. I know, okay? You don't want me to get hurt. I know. But its either me getting hurt or a little sixteen year old girl who deserves nothing like this. Nothing." I was on the verge of tears, I could tell. I told myself they were tears of anger. "Please, Rob. Just do it. You can watch over me from there."

Rob knew this was serious. I could tell by his face. "Okay," he said, "but before we separate, I have to do something..."

I looked at him strangely, "What do you mea—?"

I really didn't get to finish my question.

You want to know why?

Rob kissed me. He captured my lips with his own in a mind-reeling kiss. And, somehow, that kiss managed to give me the strength I needed to go through with this.

After we broke apart he smiled and said, "Jess, I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. I really do. So, just in case something happens to one of us, I want you to know that I truly and sincerely _DO_ love you, Jess."

I looked up at him. A smile formed on my face as I said, "Everything will be fine."

Except that it wasn't. Rob was right. Something horrible was going to happen and I should have known.

_How could I have been so naive?

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me.


	15. Don't Look Up

Don't Dwell in the Past

I had to keep reminding myself that, when I got to Chandler, not to look up. Because, if I did, it would give away that Rob was up there - or just _someone_ for that matter.

You know the saying 'Don't look down'? How, when people are on a plane or rock climbing or something, they say that? Well, it was the opposite for me.

_Don't look up, Jess. Don't you _dare.

I turned the corner into the alleyway, following what I remember from the dream, which happened to be pretty much everything. I walked slowly and carefully, so I wouldn't bump into something or so I could prevent an attack.

"Mastriani," someone said from behind. I spun around quickly. From the moonlight, I could make out a body, but the face was in the shadows. The voice sounded familiar, though . . .

Where had I heard that voice before . . . ?

Then it registered.

Oh, my GOD . . .

"Dean?" I asked unsurely.

I could feel him smirk. So it WAS him. "Ever the observant agent, Mastriani," he said. "Too bad that title won't last long. Or the name."

I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. After realizing that I truly didn't know what he meant, he said, "He's going to kill you, Mastriani."

I stayed still. I've gotten these threats before. I'm quite used to them now. I guess you could say I was jaded, fazed.

"Just take me to him, Reynolds," I said.

"Fine," he said and started walking in front of me. "Right this way."

God, and I used to trust this guy. The whole FBI trusted this guy. _Krantz_ trusted this guy - and it's very hard to earn his trust, believe me.

And then I realized that this is why he wanted me to go out with him tonight. He wanted me to come with him so I'd be an easier target for the escaped rapist.

Great.

Is everyone out to get me?

He led me to a door in the alleyway. I stared at the door for a few seconds before following him in.

As soon as I walked in, I noticed a certain odor. It smelled horribly. Like something had died and was left rotting for a while.

I looked around the room - well, what I could see in the darkness. I noticed that it was rather big, like your average living room times two. There was a tiny light above us. Then I realized this must be a storage room.

Wonderful.

Then I heard a muffled scream. It wasn't that loud really, but I was trained to notice things like this.

I guess Reynolds, Mr. I'm-a-backstabbing-idiotic-asshole, heard it too, because he looked at me and smirked, before turning back around and continue walking.

I followed him until he turned a corner and into another smaller room, the size of your average bathroom. I looked in and saw Chandler there, bound by ropes and slightly cut up. She didn't look too bad, but I saw that she had been knocked out.

I saw another person in that room.

"Hello, Lightning Girl."

The rapist.

My life just keeps getting better and better, eh?

"What do you want?" I said, instead of a greeting.

He looked at me condescendingly. "What, no 'hello'?" he asked mockingly, looking back down at Chandler, probably admiring his work. He had done a number on her. "Right. Well, you know what I want, Ms. Mastriani." Then he looked back up at me, his eyes boring into me. "Revenge."

Okay, I could see right now that this little thing wasn't going to turn out well. The way he looked at me then had anger and murder written all over it. Good thing I had told Rob to come look for me if I wasn't out in fifteen minutes.

And I guess the 'Don't look up' thing didn't matter anymore, since we were inside a building. I figured we'd be outside somewhere where Rob could watch over. Guess not.

"Why?" I asked.

He looked at me like I was nuts. "Hmm . . . let's see. Well, you put me in jail, not to mention some of my friends . . ." he trailed off.

I sniffed. "And, what, you didn't deserve it?"

Okay, accusing and arguing with the felon is not such a good tactic.

"It doesn't matter if I deserve it or not," he said. "What matters is that you did it and I want revenge." He took a few menacing steps toward me. I stood my ground, though. But . . . um, well, he towered over me.

Then he looked up at Reynolds and said, "Go guard the door."

Reynolds did so with an, "Okay, Boss," before departing, leaving me alone with a rapist and an unconscious teenager.

This just keeps getting better and better.

"You didn't do anything to her, did you?" I asked. Not that I thought he'd tell me the truth, but I was just asking. I didn't think he'd done anything anyway.

"No," he said. "I would have if you had not come." Then he grinned maliciously and took another step closer.

Okay, I had roughly five minutes to buy time. I needed to keep him busy for five minutes. Then Rob would come.

Five minutes . . .

"So," I said, to start a conversation, "what do you plan to do to me?"

Okay, not the best conversation starter. And it was on a subject I really didn't want to know.

"Well," he said, "I have a few ideas." Then he cocked his head and took another step closer.

I took a few steps back.

First of all, he smelled horribly. Second, um, I didn't want to be that close to someone who wanted to rape and murder me. And, third, well, he still smelled gross.

He took more steps toward me and, again, I backed up.

That is, until I hit the wall behind me.

He grinned again.

Shit, I was cornered. And I knew it. He knew it too. And he knew I knew. And, worst of all, he knew that I knew he knew.

"A-and what would they be?" I asked.

"Hmm . . ." he said. "Well, they aren't very proper for starters." Then he took another step closer so that he was about an inch from me. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and it made me cringe.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked simply.

Before he answered, he ripped my top off. "Doing what?"

My eyes bulged out in horror. "THIS!" I shrieked.

All I have to say is, I am SO glad that I hid my gun in my shoe.

"What did you expect?" he asked. Then he pushed me against the wall and I yelped in horror. He put a hand over my mouth, saying, "Shh. We wouldn't want anyone to hear, now, would we?"

He shoved himself up on me and started feeling me up. Seriously.

All I kept thinking was, "Come on, Rob. Hurry UP!" I mean, where WAS he?

Then he stopped. Completely. He stepped back from me and said, "Take your shoes off."

I looked at him strangely. Did he know? Did he know I had my gun in there? "Why?"

He chuckled. "Why?" he asked. "Why is not the point. Just do it."

I stood up to him, defiantly. "No."

He shook his head at me, then proceeded to smack me across the face. It stung. A lot. "Do it. NOW."

"No," I said again. Then he stomped on my foot and smacked me across the face. Again.

Getting a little repetitive, aren't we?

Needless to say, I was in pain.

"Now, are you going to do it for me? Or do I have to do it for you?" he asked, mockingly.

"Go fuck yourself," I said. Obviously, that was not the answer he was looking for, for he pushed me down on the ground, despite how much I resisted.

Then he got on top of me and said, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. What'll it be?" he asked.

I did what a woman has to do in this predicament.

I kneed him in the groin.

Well, I tried to anyway. I guess he knew that was coming, since he stopped my leg.

However, he did not see my next move coming.

Wanna know what I did?

I head-butted him.

He swung his head back in pain. "Arrgh!" he roared.

See, I learned how to do that without hurting myself. Much.

Then I kneed him in the groin and he rolled off of me in pain.

Only . . . well, there wasn't much I could do. I mean, Chandler was unconscious, so I couldn't do much with her. If I run away, he - the rapist - my do something to Chandler.

_Where in the HELL is Rob?_

The rapist recovered pretty quickly and he came at me again. I went to swing my leg up and kick him, but he caught it.

Damn him.

_What do I do now?_

Why did I try kicking him with the shoe that had the gun in it? GOD, I'm an IDIOT, I tell you!

I really didn't think that one through, I guess.

He twisted my ankle painfully, then slipped my boot off. He looked inside and grabbed the gun while I was rubbing my sore ankle.

"Oh, I see," he said, "Lightning Girl was gonna try and shoot me."

Then he pushed me back and I landed with a thud, my ankle still throbbing. "OW," I groaned.

Then he climbed back on top of me and tried undoing my pants, since he had already gotten my shirt off.

_Oh, no, no, no, NO. I was NOT going to be raped. Not if I can help it._

He had thrown the gun half way across the room.

This guy, I soon realized, was way more aware and stronger than all of the other felons I've dealt with. The other ones clearly had no idea what they were doing.

But this guy did. And that's what scared the hell out of me.

He managed to unbuckle my belt.

That was as far as he got.

"Step away from her," came a deep masculine voice from behind me. I twisted me head to get a look at the guy. It was Rob.

Thank GOD. I was getting worried.

But he looked disheveled. Rob, I mean. His shirt was ripped, he was missing a shoe - as was I - and he just looked all around beat up. And he was holding a gun, pointing it at the rapist - whose name completely slipped my mind.

_What had Rob GONE through?_

A second later, Reynolds came in, looking frantic. "Boss, I-I can explain."

Reynolds then took that opportunity to get up, drag me with him, and point a gun at my head (where he got the gun, I'll never know). Meanwhile, I was topless and nearly bottomless - I still had a bra on, guys.

Rob cursed under his breath.

Then the rapist spoke up. "Drop the gun and I won't shoot the girl."

Rob looked at me, then back at him. Reynolds was still behind us, I could tell. Probably watching the whole thing.

Rob still didn't drop the gun. He kept looking at me, as if expecting an answer of some sort.

"Okay, fine," the rapist said. "I guess I'll just shoot her, if she means nothing to you."

But Rob stood there. He was looking at me, but not really. I think he might have been looking at Reynolds, but I'm not too sure.

Then the rapist pushed his gun harder in my skull. I heard his finger go to the trigger.

Then I heard a gunshot.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me. 


	16. Do you love him?

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I heard the gunshot.

But . . . but I wasn't dead.

When the gunshot went off, the rapist let go of me. His gun slid across the floor when he fell to the ground.

Only . . . well, he still managed to shoot me. In my arm.

My left hand immediately flew to my right arm. It was bleeding horribly. I winced at the pain.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dean come up behind me. "Good work, Mastriani," he said, handing me my ripped shirt. I used that to tie up my arm.

Not to mention I was still shirtless. And all three men had a clear view of my bra.

Then I remembered what Dean had said. Wait . . . was he in on this? I mean, on our side.

Wait. He . . . HE shot him. Dean shot the rapist. I don't remember seeing Rob shoot him.

"Thanks, Reynolds. You too."

Chandler was awake now. I guess all of the commotion awakened her. I looked at Rob and nodded my head toward her. "Right," he said and went over to untie her.

But when Chandler got a good look at him, her eyes widened.

Oh . . . yeah. She remembered the picture I showed her of him. She looked at me, then to him, then back to me. I nodded and she calmed down.

Rob successfully untied her - not that I doubted it or anything.

We saw the rapist being taken away. Dean had shot him in the leg. He was handcuffed and taken toward a police car. The rapist, I mean, not Dean (A/N: Heehee. That rhymes).

Rob walked over to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Besides my arm hurting like hell, I'm fine," I said sarcastically.

He smiled. "Good." Then he put his arm around my shoulders.

When he did that . . . I dunno. It just made me feel weird. And then I remembered how he had kissed me earlier (again). And there was more passion and emotion in that kiss.

Some of the EMT guys rushed in, checking on us. Meanwhile, I _still _had no shirt on.

I think Rob noticed my uncomfortable-ness, because he took his shirt off and said, "Here, I think you need this more than I do."

I smiled warmly at him and said, "Thanks." I put the shirt on, careful not to move my arm much.

Then the EMTs did their job. They took me over to an ambulance, taking me to a hospital. Lovely.

Then I noticed they were taking Chandler away too. In an ambulance, I mean.

That's how, an hour later, I ended up in a hospital room, with my arm all bandaged up and a cast on my left ankle - they said I had fractured it (A/N: Can you fracture your ankle?).

The doctor specifically told me to stay off my leg for two weeks, so I wouldn't injure it anymore. Sadly, though, I had to keep it on for two months. That means I can't go swimming at work or anything for TWO months. I can't even work out in the gym, thanks to my arm.

This officially sucks.

I couldn't help but wonder . . . what the hell was up with Reynolds? I mean, the guy used to be _so_ nice. Then he started being an ass because I refused to go out with him. Then he goes and plays Robin to the rapist's Batman - except Batman and Robin were good, not evil. And then he's all 'I'm going to be a hero'.

I think someone forgot to tell me a little detail.

Speak of the devil.

Dean just walked in my hospital room. "Mastriani," he said, nodding his head.

"Reynolds," I replied.

He took a seat in the chair next to my bed - well, the bed I was laying on. "I know you must be very confused right now," he said, to which I nodded. "Well, after this guy escaped, he contacted me—"

"He _contacted_ you?" I asked incredulously. "How did he know how to _contact _you?"

"Well, see, when we were younger, we were friends. I had no clue then, that he'd grow up to be a rapist and I'd grow up to be an FBI agent." He looked at me to see if I was following. I just blinked. I guess he thought that meant I was comprehending this . . . ?

Whatever.

"Well, I told him that if he ever needed anything, he should call me. And after all those years, I guess he finally decided to," he explained. He took his hat off and rested it on the table nearby. "This was _before_ I started acting like an ass to you, Jess. As much as it hurt me to do that, I had to. I had to make you hate me - well, for the time being - so the plan could work out."

Wow.

Um . . . this was a lot to take in.

But wait . . .

"Was Rob in on this too?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Yes," he said. He rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, Wilkins was in on it."

I sunk back in my bed. "Why wasn't I?" I asked, hurt.

"Um, well," he said, looking a bit uncomfortable now. "We didn't know how you'd take it, so we decided to do it without you."

I looked at him skeptically. "Was this supposed to be some kind of lesson? For me to not run off without telling Dr. Krantz?"

He laughed. "No. Not intentionally."

I folded my arms across my chest.

Ow, that hurt.

"You guys totally suck," I said, pouting.

"Hmm..." he said. Then he got up. "Sorry, but I'm gonna have to cut this visit short," he said."Oh, and sorry about your arm and leg." Then he left, shutting the door behind him.

And then he opened the door again, saying, "Wait, I have a question."

"Okay," I said.

"Is Wilkins really your kids' father?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, sighing.

He gazed at me, cocking his head. "You love him, don't you?"

My eyes widened. "Uh, what would give you that idea?" I stammered.

He smirked. "No reason," he said. Then he just walked out again.

Pfft. Men.

I wonder where Rob is . . .

I fell asleep like that. Wondering where he was and what he was doing.

- § -

"Mommy," I heard a voice say. "Mommy, wake up."

"Five more minutes," I said, grumbling.

Then I heard someone chuckle.

My eyes snapped open.

Ow.

I forgot how bright hospitals are.

I winced from the light and the pain in my arm. My leg didn't hurt so much.

After my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked around. I saw Autumn right next to me, holding my hand.

Oh, that's why my arm hurt.

Then I saw Aaron sitting with a man in the far corner of the room.

Wait, that's not just any man . . .

"Rob?" I asked.

He nodded. "Hey, Mastriani," he said, getting up and walking over to the bedside. "How are you feeling?"

I thought briefly about what Reynolds had asked before he left._ Did I? _

"A little sore," I admitted, "but I'm okay."

He smiled. "Good," he said, "because you get to go home now."

I sat up, instantly regretting it.

Ow . . . my head.

"Jess, how many times have I seen you do that?" he asked, chuckling.

"Too many to count," I replied. I heard him laugh again.

I rubbed my temples, trying to stop the headache, when I felt something soft being shoved in my lap.

I looked up at Rob, "What're these?" I asked.

"Your clothes," he said, in an 'are-you-that-stupid?' kind of way. "Your friend, uh, Kara went to your apartment to get them for you." He gestured toward the clothes. "Go change."

Grudgingly, I got out of the bed, clutching my clothes to my side. As I was walking - hopping - to the bathroom, I realized something.

Rob saw my bra.

Wow, that's embarrassing.

Wait, why do I even care?

Aren't I supposed to hate this guy? I mean, he cheated on me with a slut. Need I say more?

But . . . but what if what he says is true? What if he never did mean to kiss her and she kissed him?

What if—

Uh, Jess, just walk. Or hop. Or, just MOVE.

I got in the bathroom, shutting the door. Then I slowly and carefully slipped my clothes on, realizing that Rob probably saw my butt. You know, from the stupid hospital gowns that don't fully close in the back.

I'm just getting off to a great start, aren't I?

After I was finished, I checked my face in the mirror. I took my hair down, combed my fingers through it, then put in back up. Then I washed my face off and dried it.

Voila!

I walked out of the bathroom - well, walking is an understatement - to find Rob reading a book to the kids. Autumn was sitting on the bench a little ways away and Aaron was sitting on a chair next to Rob. They looked so much alike.

Like father like son.

Rob looked up when I came out. "Ready to go?" he asked.

I nodded and walked toward their little group. Rob stood up, as did Aaron. I said to Autumn, "Come on, sweetie, we're leaving."

She did. Get up, I mean.

Rob stopped and turned around. "Wait here, Jess, I'll get a wheelchair for you."

My eyes bugged out. "A _wheelchair_! I don't want a wheelchair!" I shrieked.

Rob smirked. "Then how do you propose you get around? Hop?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes. "And you can't even use crutches because of your arm." Then he turned back around to go and get the wheelchair.

So, I stood there, balancing on my one foot/leaning on the wall. Rob came back in with a wheelchair.

Hmph.

"Come on, Mastriani, have a seat," he said, gesturing toward the wheelchair. "And don't worry; I'll go fast for you."

I turned my head to glare at him. "You're going to regret this," I said, to which he just laughed. Then I carefully sat myself in the wheelchair. "I feel like I just skipped 50 years of my life," I grumbled.

When I said that I was totally serious, but Rob just laughed again.

The nurse that gave Rob the wheelchair also gave him crutches for me. Autumn and Aaron were each holding one. They looked like two halves of a whole.

With my arm in a sling and my leg in a cast, I felt like I had fell down a mountain. I mean, it certainly seemed like it. But no. I had an encounter with a rapist. Just my luck.

- § -

When we got back to my home, I was all hopped out. The stupid hospital people didn't let us keep the wheelchair and I couldn't quite use my crutches yet, thanks to my retarded, injured arm.

So, yeah, I had to settle for hopping the whole time.

Hey, at least my one leg was getting a workout.

Actually, when we got out of the car, Rob was all, "Do you want me to carry you?"

I looked at him weirdly and said, "Wilkins, I can carry myself."

He smirked and said, "All right."

As soon as I hopped through my bedroom door, refusing any help from Rob, I collapsed on my bed. I let out a huge breath and stared at the ceiling.

I got the remote out of the night stand next to my bed and turned the TV on. There was really nothing on, considering that it was 9 AM, so I just settled for a re-run of Family Guy.

About a half hour later, someone knocked on the door. "Come in."

Rob came in. "Hey," he said, bringing in a tray of food. "I hope you're in the mood for bacon and eggs."

I smiled thankfully. "Breakfast in bed?"

He walked closer, setting the tray on my lap, since I was already in a sitting position. "Sure," he said. Then he walked back toward the door. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," I said, really meaning it. "And I will."

He smiled and left, shutting the door behind him.

God, the food smelled delicious. So, naturally, I dug in. It tasted just as good - if not, more - than it smelled. I finished the bacon, eggs, toast, and orange juice in, like, five whole minutes.

Right then Autumn came in. "Hi, Mommy," she said, plopping on my bed next to me.

"Hey, sweetheart," I said, placing the tray on the night stand. Then I kissed her forehead. "Did you eat?"

She nodded vigorously. "Yeah! Rob is a really good cook."

I laughed. "Yeah, I know, honey. He really is something, isn't he?" I murmured.

She nodded her head again. "Uh huh," she said. "Mommy, are you and Rob dating?"

I sputtered. "W-what?" I stammered. "No, honey. No, we're not."

Her face fell. "Oh," she mumbled. "'Cause that would be really cool if you were." She started fidgeting a little. "Mommy, why don't me and Aaron have a daddy? All of the other kids in day care do."

I stared at her. "Uh, Autumn, honey, you do have a daddy. You just, uh, you don't know who he is," I explained. Okay, wait, that was a lie. "Well, you have met him, just—"

"Is Rob our daddy?" she asked. Her face brightened up when she asked it.

Okay, this is getting weird. I don't think I can deal with this right now. "Sweetie, we'll talk about this later, okay? When Aaron is here, too."

"But, Mommy, I can just get Aaron in here now," she whined.

I patted her head and kissed her cheek. "I know, baby, but Mommy isn't feeling well right now, all right?"

"Fine," she pouted, getting up off of the bed. "Oh, and Aunt Kara left a gift on the kitchen table for you."

I looked at her in question. "Oh, did she now?"

"Yep," she said. "Want me to get it for you?"

I smiled at her. "That would be great, sweetie. Thanks."

Then she left. About two seconds later, she came padding back in, with said gift in her hand. "Here," she said, handing to me.

I took it and the card she held also. Autumn then left, not too interested in my gift.

I read the card first. The front of it had a smiley face with a giant band-aid on its cheek and had "Get Well Soon" printed on the bottom. The inside had Kara's handwriting on it.

Jess,

Hey. I heard what happened. The WHOLE story, too. You know, with Dean and everything. GOD, that must have been hard to go through that. I feel for you, girl.

Well, listen, I got you a little present. You can use it any time, if you feel better and want to have a little fun.

Hope you get better soon!

Love,

Kara

It sounded interesting.

But . . . well, I knew I shouldn't have expected anything appropriate from Kara.

I tore the gift-wrap from the present to reveal a box.

Ribbed for her pleasure . . .

You have GOT to be kidding me.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Meg Cabot owns the 1-800-where-r-you characters. 


	17. Yes, I do love him

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Rob stayed with me instead of going to work. He said Krantz had no problem with it.

I don't see why he stayed with me though. I could take care of myself. And besides, my kids would help me. And I had my faithful dog.

Yes, I still had Chigger. I don't really talk about him much, but I still have the mut.

After I opened Kara's gift, I quickly shoved it in my night stand. I didn't want my kids finding them.

Then I remembered Chandler and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend . . . was he all right?

"Rob!" I called. I straightened myself up a bit.

He came through the door seconds later. "What is it?" he asked.

"Remember how I asked you to find the girl's boyfriend?" I asked, hoping he did remember.

He stared at me for a second, then it seemed to dawn on him, I guess. "Yes . . ." he said. "What about it?"

I patted the bed beside me. "Pop a squat," I said. He smiled and came over next to me. "He . . . did you find him?"

He sighed. "Jess, don't worry about that now. You need some sleep." He brought his hand to my face and rubbed his calloused thumb over my cheek. Then he smiled.

I remained stern. "Did you find him?" I repeated in a firmer voice.

His smile faded and his face became solemn. "No," he said. Then he grabbed my good arm firmly. "But, Jess, you aren't going anywhere. And you aren't looking at any pictures, either."

I looked at him, shocked. "But—"

"No, Jess. You're already injured enough. I'm not letting you go anywhere. I'll chain you to the bed if I have to."

Is it just me or did that sound kind of . . . kinky?

I sighed. "Fine," I mumbled, "but can you at least get hand me the phone?"

"Why?" he asked skeptically.

I glared at him. "Fine, I'll get it myself," I said and scooted over, leaning myself over Rob, and reaching for the phone. I almost got it, when I felt someone grab my waist and pull me back.

"Rob!" I screamed.

"Why?" he repeated. God, it seemed like he didn't even notice he touched me. I certainly did . . .

GOD, Jess, what the hell are you saying!

Um . . .

I was about to reach for the phone again, but Rob plucked it from the holder and hid it behind his back. "Jess."

"I'm not telling you," I said. "Now give me the damn phone."

He grinned. "I'm not giving you the damn phone until you tell me."

That got me mad. It really did. So, I lunged at him and tried to grab the phone from behind his back.

But . . . uh, I guess he didn't expect it, because he fell back on my bed and I landed on top of him. We were in a very . . . compromising position.

God, if anybody happened to walk in on us . . .

Then I had an idea. To get the phone, I mean.

The phone was still in his one hand, but his hand was at his side. So, I, um . . . kissed him. He responded quickly, his hands sliding to my waist. I took that opportunity to snatch the phone from him.

"Aha!" I yelled, after I broke apart from him.

Rob, seeming to recover from what just happened, said, "Hey! You - you can't just - go and do that!" He seemed at a loss for words.

"And why not?" I asked.

He seemed frustrated. "Whatever," he murmured.

Whatever indeed.

I dialed Chandler's cell phone number. She picked up on the third ring. "Jess?"

"Chandler? Oh, god, how are you?" I asked. I saw Rob run his hand through his hair out of the corner of my eye.

"Okay, I guess," she replied sadly.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked. I didn't want to go right out and ask her. It would be too . . . weird.

"Jake," she said. "T-they found him in the middle of the night, behind a dumpster, i-in c-c-critical c-condition."

I gasped. "Oh, my god! Chandler, sweetie, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I - is there anything I can do?"

"It's not your fault, Jess," she tried assuring me. But, well, if it weren't for me, none of this would have happened. At all. "It's that stupid rapist's fault." I heard her sniffle over the phone. "I didn't get a chnace to thank you yesterday. You know, for rescuing me and everything."

I smiled. "It was no problem, really, Chan. And about your boyfriend . . . I know you love him. I'm sure he'll be fine. If you're there by his side, I'm sure he'll be fine in the end."

She sniffled again. "Thanks, Jess." She paused a moment, then said, "And I won't be able to babysit this Friday."

I laughed, despite everything that's happened. "It's all right. Don't worry about it, Chan. Besides, I've already got the help I need."

She seemed more interested now. "Wait. It's not that guy that untied me last night, was it?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it is," I said. "But, shh, don't tell anyone."

She laughed. "Okay. I've gotta go, Jess. Thanks again."

"No problem," I said. "Bye."

"Bye."

And then we both hung up.

I looked back at Rob. "Can you put this back?" He nodded and put the phone back in its holder.

He looked dazed or something. It was kind of creepy. "What's up?" I asked him.

He looked at me. "Nothing," he said. "I just don't - nevermind."

Now I was intrigued. "No. Tell me," I pried.

He sighed mercilessly. "I don't know, I just—" He broke off and looked at me.

The next thing I knew, I was being pushed into the mattress and Rob's lips were on my own again, our tongues colliding.

My good arm went around his neck, pulling him closer. He balanced himself with one arm while cupping my face with the other.

It was heaven.

Well . . . until reality sunk in, that is.

I pushed him away and turned my head. But he didn't move. He stayed right where he was. Then I felt his hand touch my cheek. My eyes immediately met his.

It's just - I dunno. When our eyes met . . . I knew. Right at that exact moment, I knew. I knew he told me the truth. That he didn't cheat on me. And he loved me . . .

HOLY SHIT!

HE LOVED ME!

"What's wrong, Jess?" he asked, after a few moments silence. His eyes were still boring into mine. "Oh, god, its not the whole . . . cheating thing, is it? Jess, I _swear_—"

"No," I cut him off. "It's not that."

Now he looked confused. "Then what, Jess?"

I smiled a little. "I don't think we should do it while our kids are here."

He grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, you're right."

He looked so down. And I _really_ wanted to do this with him all of a sudden. Like, _really_ really. "Give me the phone."

He looked at me questioningly, but gave it to me anyway.

I dialed Kara's cell number. "Hey, girl," she greeted, "did you get my present?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I did, Kara. I'm not going to reprimand you right now, because I need a favor. Can you come over right now?"

"Jess, I just got in work, like, an hour ago. What is it? You fall and can't get up?" she asked and started laughing.

"Ha-ha," I said. "No. I just really need you to come here. I actually need you to watch my kids. Or, you know what? Can you come and get them and bring them to the day care center? I just . . . I need to rest and I can't really watch them when doing so and my babysitter isn't really available—"

"Yes, fine, as long as you'll shut up. God, you babble on and on and on . . ." she said. "I'll be there in, like, ten minutes."

"Good, thanks," I said.

"Bye, Jess."

"Bye, Kara," I said and hung up.

"So, we good to go?" Rob asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Yes, we are."

And he leaned down and kissed me. Soon enough, we were in a full-blown make-out session.

God, WHY did I ever leave this man?

I DO love him.

I don't know why I ever questioned that in the first place.

Then I heard my bedroom door slowly creak open.

"Jess? Are you – oh, my god!"

That was Kara. I swear, I didn't even hear her come in. Strange . . .

She immediately shut the door and went out. Rob pulled apart and got off of me. I gave him a lazy smile.

"Kara," I said, while kind of laughing. "Kara, you can come in. It's fine."

She did and gave me a sarcastic smile. "So THIS is why you wanted me to take your kids, huh?"

"No. I just wanted to rest, like I told you," I said. That wasn't entirely a lie. I wanted to rest before Rob and I did anything.

"Uh huh," she said. "Right." Then she shook her head. "Well, I better get going. Your kids are safe with me, Jess." Then she walked out of my bedroom door, shutting it behind her. A few seconds later, I heard the front door to the apartment open. "See ya later, Jess! And use protection!" Then the door shut and she was gone.

I turned to look at Rob and gave him an uncomfortable smile.

"Quite a friend you have there," he said, chuckling. "Well," he said, getting back on top of me, "what should we do, now, Mastriani?"

I smiled at him. "Sleep," I said.

His face fell. "Oh, right," he said, "yeah, you should get some rest. I'm sorry."

He went to get off of me, but I grabbed his head and pulled it down to my lips. When we came back up for air, I said, "Don't worry; we can do . . . things, when I wake up. But until then: sweet dreams."

He smiled again and rolled off of me. He went to get up and leave, but I pulled him back down. "Don't leave me," I said.

He seemed shocked, to say the least. But then he lay back down next to me. "I won't," he said, "I promise."

I smiled and snuggled into him. His arms came around me, like a protective barrier.

Then I knew; everything would be okay from now on.

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me. 


	18. The Almost Lemon

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

I woke up to an empty bed.

I looked around frantically. Where was he?

"Rob?" No answer. "Rob!" I yelled.

He came running in, looking worried. "What?" he said. "Are you okay?"

I smiled at him. "Yeah," I said, "I'm fine. I just . . . I didn't know where you were. I was worried."

He gave me a warm smile, and he came over to gave me a quick kiss. He then lay down next to me and hugged me. "You don't know how much you mean to me," he murmured. Then he let go of me, saying, "I'll be right back."

I heard clamoring in the kitchen, like he was preparing something. Then he came back in a few minutes later. With a tray of food.

"You spoil me," I said.

He grinned and said, "And you deserve every bit of it."

He came and set the tray next to me on the night stand. Then he sat next to me. He helped me into an upright position so I could eat.

I'm not that helpless!

But the feel of his hands on me drove me crazy. I just wanted to jump his bones right then and there.

He actually attempted to help me eat. But I said, "Rob, I still have another arm."

He laughed. "Fine," he said and lay back on the bed, watching me eat.

Um . . . its kind of awkward to be watched while eating. Like, if I drop something, I'll be totally embarrassed.

I turned around. "Have you eaten?" I asked.

He nodded and said, "Yeah, while you were sleeping."

I could tell he was lying, but I let it drop. I would just have to feed him.

Heehee . . .

I looked at the clock on the stand: 5:49.

Wow, I slept, like, 8 hours. That's quite a lot. I mean, for me it is.

"Rob?" I said, turning around.

"Hmm?" He had his arms behind his head. GOD, he looked so sexy.

"I'm not really hungry," I stated. I put the tray on the stand and climbed over him. "For food." Then I kissed him.

Yeah, I know. Morning breath. Er, well, _afternoon_ breath, I guess.

Rob didn't seem to mind terribly. He kissed me back with just as much passion. His hands slid to my wasted, gripping me into him. My good hand went to his hair, running my fingers through it._ Ah, just as I remember it._

He gently rolled us over so he was on top. Typical male.

My shirt had ridden up slightly, so my stomach was in plain view. One of his hands slid to my side and gently rubbed it, while his other hand went _under_ my shirt. Before he reached anything, he began kissing my neck, leaving a trail of white hot kisses.

I moaned.

God. How could I have gone _five years_ without this? Seriously.

I feel like I just died and went to heaven.

Sorry. Excuse me for the lame cliché.

His hand that was previously under my shirt went under again. This time, it got under my bra. I moaned again.

I felt him smile against my skin. Any pleasure that he was causing me was also pleasure to him too, I guess.

Then, all of a sudden, he pulled his hands away, and his head, and looked at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He groaned. "Dammit," he said under his breath. "Jess, we - we can't do this right now."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "What? Wh-why not?"

"I didn't bring any protection," he said solemnly.

See, I know it's not really polite to laugh at someone when they looked so forlorn, but I couldn't help it. "Is that all?" I asked, while sort of giggling.

He looked at me weirdly. "Well, yeah. We kinda can't do _this_ without _that_," he stated.

"I know," I said. "Open the second drawer." I pointed to the night stand.

"Okay . . ." he said, looking at me weirdly again. He did so and pulled out a box of condoms. Now he gave me an even weirder look. "Jess?"

Now I just had to laugh. "I think my friends have even more ESP than I do," I said.

He raised his perfect eyebrows and said simply, "Oh." Then he laughed too.

He left the box on the night stand and came back on top of me. "You are amazing," he whispered.

I smiled, then pulled his head down and kissed him. Soon enough, our clothes were in a heap on the floor.

And I could feel that hardness on my thigh _very_ much. It actually felt, uh, kind of good.

Rob came back over me after putting the, er, _raincoat_ on. He lifted himself up a little and got a good look at me. "You are amazing," he said again.

"That's what I've heard," I replied.

He smiled. Then he did that thing people do when they have sex. Yeah, you know, _that_ thing.

**- § -**

"Chocolate syrup?" Rob asked.

We were both in the kitchen. Him with the sheet wrapped around him and me with a robe on. We were making ice cream sundaes. Or, rather, _he_ was making both of them.

"Of course," I replied. He squeezed the chocolate syrup on both of our bowls of ice cream - the only kind of ice cream we had in there was coffee, but it would have to do. Then he added sprinkles and some chocolate chips that he found in the pantry. After he handed me my bowl, I said, "You know, I haven't pigged out like this in ages."

He took a seat next to me. "Really? Why not?" Then he took a bite of his sundae.

I shrugged. "Dunno. Just wanted to keep in shape for work, I guess." Then I took a bite of my sundae.

Mmm. Coffee and chocolate syrup-y goodness.

"To tell you the truth, Jess, I think you could gain a few pounds," he said. He didn't look at me when he said that. See, if he looked me in the eye when he said that, it wouldn't have bothered me. But since he _didn't_ look at me, it ticked me off a little.

"Are you saying I'm too _skinny_?" I demanded.

Now he looked uncomfortable. "No, I just think that you could use a little extra meat. You know, gain, like, five pounds or so."

I gave him a sarcastic look. "Oh, right. So when I'm three hundred pounds, you'll be saying I need to gain a few extra pounds?"

All right, maybe I should quit while I'm ahead. I just found out that the guy sincerely loves me. I don't want to scare him away.

"No. Nevermind. Forget I said anything," he replied, finishing up his ice cream.

I smirked. "I was just testing you, baby," I said.

Holy mother of Jesus! Did I just call him 'baby'? What is _wrong_ with me?

I think he seemed to notice my terminology, too. I mean, if the way he grinned, pushed his bowl aside, and started making out with me right then and there was any indication.

Erm, but it's, uh, a little difficult making out with someone sitting down in a kitchen chair, let alone with a cast on your leg and a sling on your arm.

I didn't even bother finishing my sundae. Rob was more delicious than any sundae could ever be.

Mmm, Rooob . . . insert Homer Simpson gargle here.

Teehee . . .

Rob pulled me into his lap so his mouth was more accessible to me. I didn't mind much. And now I could feel that familiar hardness again. Only it wasn't on my thing; it was _beneath_ me.

He opened up my robe slightly and stuck his hands inside. Well, stuck sounds so _inappropriate_. What he was doing I would never call inappropriate. It felt too _good_. I could feel his hands running across my chest and over my stomach.

Oh, how badly I wanted to do that to him.

Damn injured arm!

Thank God it would be better in a few days. I can't _stand_ this.

"Rob," I gasped. His hands kept going lower and lower. God, it felt so _good_ . . . but if someone happened to walk in . . .

Well, let's just say they would have seen quite a show.

"Mmm," he mumbled. He moved one of his hands to my lower back and arched me into him. Then he began kissing my neck, getting closer to my ear. When he reached my ear, he began sucking on it. Wow. Who knew something so . . . weird could feel so _good_?

You know, if we continued this anymore, Rob would probably end up doing me right then and there. And again, uh, I didn't want anyone to see anything if they happened to walk in.

Speaking of the big 'S', it . . . well, it kind of hurt. I mean, I hadn't done it in, what, five years? And that last time I _did_ do it, it was my first time.

So, I kind of had to stop him before he got _too_ overworked, which he was nearing pretty quickly. "Rob," I said, a little quieter than I had meant.

He ignored me. And, to my utter surprise, he lifted me onto the kitchen table and lay me down. As much as I wanted to do this, I knew that it should be done in the _bedroom_ and the _bedroom only_. Unless, of course, no one else had your spare key or lived with you. Then, sure, screw where ever the hell you like.

"Rob," I said in shock.

He looked up at me from where he was, which happened to be on my lower stomach. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, concerned.

I supressed a laugh. "No," I said.

He shrugged and went back to causing me an immense amount of pleasure.

Okay, Jess, one more try. If it doesn't work, then, well, screw it. Figure of speech, people.

"Wilkins," I said.

He looked up again. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, except for the fact that people have a key for my apartment and could come in at any minute," I explained.

He glanced at the front door, then scooped me up and brought me to the bedroom.

And, well, you can guess what happened then.

**- § -**

Rob and I lay in my bed. My head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around me protectively. His fingers were creating little circles and squiggles on my back.

Then I heard the apartment door open and close.

I sat up, despite my complete comfort. "Oh, shit," I mumbled. I turned to Rob. "Get some pants on."

He looked at me with humor in his eyes. He just smiled and put his boxers on.

"Jess?" I heard Kara call out. It was only a matter of time before she came in.

Don't look at me that way. She's always been that way. But a good friend, nonetheless.

I got out of bed, almost falling in the process. Rob handed me my robe and I threw it on.

After making sure I was okay, Rob pulled the sweat pants he had on earlier over his boxers. Then we walked out of the bedroom together. Well, he was walking. I was sort of limping, but Rob had his arm around me, so I wouldn't fall.

"Jes—OH!" I heard Kara say. She almost walked right into us. "Well don't you two look lovely," she managed to say.

Rob set me down in a chair. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Now, shoo. Go play with your children."

He gave me a weird look (again) before walking off into the living room, where the kids were. We happened to be in the kitchen (again).

Kara pulled me into the nearest bathroom. Now, when I say pulled, I mean pulled. "How was he?" she demanded.

"What?" I asked, shocked.

She gave me a sarcastic look. "How was he? In bed, I mean."

My eyes widened. "That is between me and him."

"Jess, come on . . ." she pleaded. "I gotta know if he's any good."

"Why?" I questioned.

"Um, because we're best friends," she replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So, how was he?" she asked again.

I decided to give in. I mean, I guess she could know. As long as she wouldn't _tell_. "Fine," I said. Then, I guess, I got a dreamy look on my face. "Well, I don't really have much experience, but, let me tell you, he was . . . wow."

"Hmm . . ." she said, "thought as much. I mean, by the happy grin you had on your face, it was pretty obvious." Then she laughed. "Those condoms really came through, eh?"

I gave her a sour look. Then I laughed too. "Yeah. They did."

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_Disclaimer:_ All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me.


	19. Showering

**Don't Dwell in the Past**

Shortly after Kara left, I went and took a shower. Or, rather, _Rob_ and I took a shower.

Well, what did you expect? I mean, I guess I finally got my happily ever after.

Little did I know that my happily ever after would be postponed for a while.

After Kara left, I went in the other room to go tell Rob I was going to take a shower. I told him and he got up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to . . . help you," he said with a smirk.

And, me being the stupid me, I didn't notice the meaning behind the smirk. "I don't need your help. Just because I have an injured arm and leg, doesn't mean I'm not capable of taking a shower by myself—" That was when I stopped and grinned. "Oh, I see," was all I said and walked toward the bathroom.

He followed me, after making sure the kids were situated in the living room watching television. When he got in the bathroom behind me - the master bathroom, of course - I said, "I think I need help taking my robe off too."

He smirked and helped me out of it. Then he took his flannel pants off, folding them up and putting them on the toilet cover. He hung my robe up on the hook on the door. Then he helped me put a plastic bag over my cast. Ugh, I hate doing that.

I got in the shower as gracefully as I could - which wasn't much, really - and was satisfied when I felt his arms slide around my waist from behind me.

I grinned and turned around, pressing my front side to his. Then I was _very_ satisfied when I felt his other member harden.

Excellent.

So I did what any other girl would do in that situation.

I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him full on the lips. He kissed back with just as much - if not, more - passion. I moaned into his mouth from his mere touch. It's actually amazing how much he affects me. It really is.

His hands slid down to my butt and he held me close.

When I pulled away from the kiss, I said, "What makes you think you can grope me?"

He just grinned and kissed me again. Then he gently pushed me up against the wall and started kissing my neck gingerly.

Aaaah . . . this is the life.

His moved from my butt to my breasts and lay there sweetly. But his mere hands there made me a bit perky, if you know what I mean.

When he felt that happen, he looked me in the eyes and smiled. A true, genuine smile. Then he traced his fingers over my breasts, massaging them - only, this was the best damn massage I've ever had.

Then he bent his head down and kissed each one twice. After he saw the delight that this caused me, he began sucking on them. The sensation he was causing on my skin was so unbelievably . . . indescribable. I just - it was awesome.

When he was done with that, he spoke. "You're . . . different than I remember," he said, his voice sounding odd.

I wanted to scream, "HELLO! I had two kids, courtesy of YOU. Of COURSE my body is different!" But I was too worried about what he really meant by that. Was I not good enough for him now . . . ?

Oh, god. I groaned inwardly.

"What do you mean 'different'?" I asked, cocking my head. I may have sounded confident, but I sure as hell wasn't inside.

"What I mean is . . . you're better. Sexier," he said.

I slapped his chest, saying, "Don't you ever do that again."

"What?" he asked cluelessly.

"Scare me like that. Make me think that I'm not good enough for you," I replied.

I looked up and noticed how sexy he looked with his curly hair all wet, the water dripping down his face.

That was when his face turned all serious. "Jess," he said, holding my face in his hands, "don't _ever_ think that you're not good enough for me. If anything, _I_ am not good enough for_ you_. Okay?"

I nodded dumbly.

Then he grinned. "I have a sexy naked woman in the shower with me. What to do, what to do . . ."

I giggled. "You could always do this," I said, pulling him closer and fingering his engorged manhood, and slightly moving it toward my lower organ.

He grinned. "Yes, we could do that," he said.

When he was about to . . . you know, I turned around and said, "After we get cleaned off."

He smirked. "Fine." He grabbed the soap bottle off the ledge and put some on the loofa that was hanging from the showerhead. He took it and started gently scrubbing my body with it.

Oh . . . that felt good.

Except the stupid bag over my cast kept getting in the way.

And then I did the liberty of getting him cleaned off, which was quite a difficult task considering my bad arm and all.

And we washed each others' hair, too.

Then he . . . you know.

- § -

When we came back in the living room to go check up on the twins, we found them still sitting there, entranced by another episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

"Hey, sweetie," I said, sitting next to Autumn. She didn't even acknowledge that we were there. And neither did Aaron.

So, I did what any parent would do in this situation. I found the remote and clicked off the television.

"HEY!" yelled Autumn. God, she had quite some lungs on her.

"Autumn, Aaron; Mommy and Da - _Rob _need to talk to you about something," I said, ignoring their incessant cries about the television.

After Rob and I had gotten out of the shower, we talked about him being the twins' father. And we came to the conclusion that it was time to tell them.

They ignored me though.

I sighed. "Please listen to me. This is _really_ important. And," I said, looking at Rob, giving him a smile, "I think you might like the news."

Then they turned their attention to me. I smiled and started, "You know how a lot of kids in day care have a daddy?" They nodded. "Well, you do too." After seeing the confused look on their faces, I elaborated. "I've been trying to ignore it for some years, but I just couldn't anymore. Autumn, Aaron," I said, getting up and sitting next to Rob, "this is your daddy."

Aaron's face immediately lit up. "Really?" he asked, shocked.

I grinned. "Yes, sweetie," I said happily and gave him a hug. Then I waved my hand and said, "Go and bond," because I noticed Autumn looked a little put out.

While Aaron and Rob bonded and turned on the television, I took Autumn to a different room to talk to her. "Honey," I said, after we got in her bedroom. "What's wrong?"

She looked up at me from her bed. "Mommy," she said, "is this gonna change anything?"

I smiled at how cute she sounded. Then her words registered. I was slightly confused. "What do you mean, baby?"

She looked at me all sad and everything. "Are you still going to play with us?"

I laughed. "Is that all?" I asked. I gave her a big bear hug. "Of course, honey. Rob being here will be a _good_ change, not a bad one." After I released her from the hug, I said, "How would you like to wake up to pancakes and waffles and eggs and bacon in the morning, instead of having to make your own cereal?"

Her face brightened. "Really? He can cook like that?"

I grinned and chuckled. "Yes, he can. He's a _very_ good cook."

She jumped up off the bed. She was about to run out the door, but came back and gave me a hug. "I'm glad he's my daddy, Mommy."

Surprised, I replied, "I am too, sweetie. I am too."

Then she released me and ran out the door. I followed her out into the living room, where she gave Rob a big hug. I was surprised by this too, but grinned nonetheless. It was a very happy sight.

Rob seemed shocked by this too, but quickly recovered and hugged her back.

We were really an average, normal family for once.

To quote a line from _American Wedding_: We were a perfectly natural, normal thing.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize, and the plot, belong to me. 


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